Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.
The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child-raising is not the child but the parent.
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.
My daughter is the biggest gift; I've said it so many times and it sounds like a cliche, but the thing about being a parent is when you think you've cracked it, and you're on top of your game, they change again and you have to catch up and adjust. I feel such a responsibility to instill good values in her, to be polite, to have discipline.
You fall so deeply in love with your grandbaby. It's so so so much easier than being a parent, because you really don't have much responsibility. And just when you are at the end of your rope with exhaustion, the parents take the baby away. So it's the best of both worlds.
I have a small child. Being a parent takes a lot of time. People always ask me, "What movies have you watched lately?" I tell them, "Finding 'Nemo' ... 'Shrek'.
I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.
I was raised by my parents to believe that you had a moral obligation to try and save the world. You sent money to the Red Cross, you registered people to vote, you marched in rallies, stood in vigils, picked up litter.
Being a parent is a weird juggling act - and nobody does it right. Everybody does it wrong.
Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. Kids get heavy. Quite literally. They're heavy to lift up when they're throwing tantrums.
There's no real manual on being a parent. There's no real manual on being a wife. I keep reminding myself, My mother did all this, only she never got to leave the house. OK, I can do this. We're all learning on our own learning curve.
Being a parent, I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to get good childcare.
Who should have children? Those who are responsible and completely dedicated to the responsibility which is actually a very small percentage of humans. Being a parent should be a career. Whereas some people are engineers, musicians, or lawyers, others with the desire and the skills can be fathers and mothers. Schools can be eliminated if the professional parent is also the educator of the child.
When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about how I'd need to earn a living somehow, but he's been totally behind me, forking out money he didn't really have to send me to university. Every other comedian I've met had to fight their parents to be allowed to do this but mine have been brilliant.
Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches. Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child's life and it's like lighting up a whole roomful of possibilities.
Being a parent is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy
I had years of partying, and I was kind of surprised and happy I survived it all. Now, being a parent, I look back on it thinking, Oh God, the things you did!
I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.
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