Blokes Quotes

• When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.

  Steven Moffat

  Dark, Men, Fire

  "Inferno". m.imdb.com. 2000.

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• Anna Karenina is just a story about a woman falling in love with a bloke who is not her husband. Its gossip, rubbish - on the other hand, its the deepest story there could be about social transgression, about love, betrayal, duty, children.

  Hanif Kureishi

  Falling In Love, Children, Husband

  16 Copy quote

• I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.

  Jo Brand

  Jesus, Thinking, Persons

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• Ive worked really physically hard, and I was never afraid of working hard as younger bloke.

  Matthew Nable

  Hard

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• When I made a breakthrough as an actor, people started to say, 'Who's that bloke with the funny name?' They advised me to change it, saying it would never be put up in lights outside theaters because they couldn't afford the electricity. But I would never contemplate changing it. It's who I am.

  Pete Postlethwaite

  Light, Who I Am, Names

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Gary Speed was honourable, trustworthy and a joy to manage. He was honest, he was a role model and he was a great bloke. An avid learner, he recognised responsibility and he was always fully committed.

  Howard Wilkinson

  Responsibility, Avid, Role Models

  "Howard Wilkinson on Gary Speed: 'He leaves a huge, huge void'" by Howard Wilkinson, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2011.

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• Look, I've always been a confident bloke. I'm grateful to my mother for that.

  Bryan Brown

  Mother, Grateful, Looks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

  Jenny Eclair

  Fall, People, Worry

  "A funny five minutes with Jenny Eclair". Interview with Mirror.uk, www.mirror.co.uk. May 2, 2010.

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• I was never a good-looking bloke. Not by a long chalk.

  Rod Stewart

  Long, Looking Good, Chalk

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• Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.

  Rennie Ellis

  Food, Beer, Long

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• Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

  Bill Bailey

  Stupid, Three, Littles

  "Part Troll". Documentary, Comedy, 2004.

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• I don't find offensive that I'm being labelled a babe by blokes. I'm absolutely flattered.

  Kirsty Gallacher

  Offensive, Babe, Flattered

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• Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families.

  Robbie Fowler

  Doubt, Different, Balls

  Robbie Fowler (2009). “Fowler: My Autobiography”, p.31, Pan Macmillan

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• A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Dog, Assistants

  66 Copy quote

• So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

  Tim Vine

  Funny, Humor, Oysters

  "Comedy preview" by Wiliam Cook, www.theguardian.com. April 28, 2005.

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• The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don't worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it's not the same ball.

  Shane Warne

  Opportunity, Worry, Firsts

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Sad old blokes, I'm told, now dream of me with a whip in hand.

  Anne Robinson

  Dream, Hands, Whips

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

  Johnny Vegas

  Las Vegas, Enough, Baldness

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• You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

  Johnny Vegas

  Dad, People, Half

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• The rest of the Spice Girls wanted to invite the entire Bayern Munich team because they reckoned they'd never known blokes to be on top for 90 minutes and still come second.

  Gary Neville

  Girl, Team, Spices

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• The voice is always in my head. In fact I aspire to be more like Mario. What could be better than rescuing and falling in love with a princess, right? Someone who faces every challenge in life with a cheerful Wahoo! In London a bike messenger stopped me and said ‘You’re the bloke who does Mario’ on an escalator. So naturally I go ‘Wahooooo’ all the way up the stairs.

  Charles Martinet

  Falling In Love, Princess, Voice

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• Once you don't smile on film, they say, 'Let's have that bloke who doesn't smile.'

  Richard Armitage

  Film

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• It is easy being a manager when you are one of 25,000 sitting in the stand or if you are an ex-player who is now working for the media who will never manage anything better than an under-10 team, thinking he knows best - and you know what I'm talking about, and I will deal with that, trust me.

  Glenn Roeder

  Nice, Team, Player

  "Neil Adams has precious little time to save Norwich City from relegation" by Jacob Steinberg, www.theguardian.com. April 7, 2014.

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• Delivering the State of the Union? That bloke couldn't deliver pizza.

  Clive James

  Unions, Classic, States

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• He's the type of bloke you would want to have on your side. When you see an Indian side with Ganguly in the line-up, you know it's game on. You don't have to like or dislike him. You have to respect him.

  Steve Waugh

  Your Side, Games, Lines

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