Blokes Quotes

• When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.

  Steven Moffat

  Dark, Men, Fire

  "Inferno". m.imdb.com. 2000.

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• Ive worked really physically hard, and I was never afraid of working hard as younger bloke.

  Matthew Nable

  Hard

  16 Copy quote

• Look, I've always been a confident bloke. I'm grateful to my mother for that.

  Bryan Brown

  Mother, Grateful, Looks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Anna Karenina is just a story about a woman falling in love with a bloke who is not her husband. Its gossip, rubbish - on the other hand, its the deepest story there could be about social transgression, about love, betrayal, duty, children.

  Hanif Kureishi

  Falling In Love, Children, Husband

  17 Copy quote

• People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

  Jenny Eclair

  Fall, People, Worry

  "A funny five minutes with Jenny Eclair". Interview with Mirror.uk, www.mirror.co.uk. May 2, 2010.

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• When I made a breakthrough as an actor, people started to say, 'Who's that bloke with the funny name?' They advised me to change it, saying it would never be put up in lights outside theaters because they couldn't afford the electricity. But I would never contemplate changing it. It's who I am.

  Pete Postlethwaite

  Light, Who I Am, Names

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Gary Speed was honourable, trustworthy and a joy to manage. He was honest, he was a role model and he was a great bloke. An avid learner, he recognised responsibility and he was always fully committed.

  Howard Wilkinson

  Responsibility, Avid, Role Models

  "Howard Wilkinson on Gary Speed: 'He leaves a huge, huge void'" by Howard Wilkinson, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2011.

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• I was never a good-looking bloke. Not by a long chalk.

  Rod Stewart

  Long, Looking Good, Chalk

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• Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.

  Rennie Ellis

  Food, Beer, Long

  63 Copy quote

• I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.

  Jo Brand

  Jesus, Thinking, Persons

  17 Copy quote

• I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so." "It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Stupid, Mean

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• A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Dog, Assistants

  73 Copy quote

• The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don't worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it's not the same ball.

  Shane Warne

  Opportunity, Worry, Firsts

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

  Bill Bailey

  Stupid, Three, Littles

  "Part Troll". Documentary, Comedy, 2004.

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• Sad old blokes, I'm told, now dream of me with a whip in hand.

  Anne Robinson

  Dream, Hands, Whips

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

  Tim Vine

  Funny, Humor, Oysters

  "Comedy preview" by Wiliam Cook, www.theguardian.com. April 28, 2005.

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• I don't find offensive that I'm being labelled a babe by blokes. I'm absolutely flattered.

  Kirsty Gallacher

  Offensive, Babe, Flattered

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• Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

  Johnny Vegas

  Las Vegas, Enough, Baldness

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• Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families.

  Robbie Fowler

  Doubt, Different, Balls

  Robbie Fowler (2009). “Fowler: My Autobiography”, p.31, Pan Macmillan

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• You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

  Johnny Vegas

  Dad, People, Half

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• The rest of the Spice Girls wanted to invite the entire Bayern Munich team because they reckoned they'd never known blokes to be on top for 90 minutes and still come second.

  Gary Neville

  Girl, Team, Spices

  47 Copy quote

• I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men.

  Graham Coxon

  Crush, Men, Thinking

  17 Copy quote

• I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one... When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.

  Steven Moffat

  Struggle, Dark, Men

  "Coupling". www.imdb.com. 2000-2004.

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• I say to the young blokes, when you get asked for an autograph, don't knock it back because there'll be a time where no one will ask you.

  Brett Kenny

  Sports, Wisdom, Australia

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• Gaddafi's a great bloke. The media only show the bad things. I used to go round his house. His son's a super simple guy. All the Gaddafis are very down to earth.

  Luis de Agustini

  Football, Son, Simple

  "Said & Done" by David Hills, www.theguardian.com. June 4, 2011.

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