Bologna Quotes

• I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

  Mitch Hedberg

  Thanksgiving, Being Yourself, Fun

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• Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Eye, People, Meat

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• Bologna is the best city in Italy for food and has the least number of tourists. With its medieval beauty, it has it all.

  Mario Batali

  Travel, Cities, Numbers

  27 Copy quote

• Bologna is celebrated for producing popes, painters, and sausage.

  Lord Byron

  Sausage, Pope, Painter

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• Reason alone cannot give you a whole steak, but it sure helps with identifying bologna.

  Peter Kreeft

  Giving, Helping, Reason

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• Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Dirty, Humor

  "Jim Gaffigan: King Baby". www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.

  Art Donovan

  Drinking, Beer, Blow

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• You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.

  Steve Martin

  Shoes, People, Secret

  "Let's Get Small". Comedy album by Steve Martin, 1977.

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• We have got to get beyond this political bologna. I'm not allowed to say anything positive about Hillary Clinton because then I'm not a loyal Republican, and she's not allowed to say anything positive about me because then she's not a loyal Democrat. What a stupid way to run a country.

  Newt Gingrich

  Running, Country, Stupid

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• Bologna girl, that's me.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Girl

  Laurie Halse Anderson (2011). “Speak”, p.127, Macmillan

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• I didn't like university life much at Bologna. The subjects I studied - economics and business administration - didn't interest me. I wanted to make films. I was glad when I was graduated. Yet it's odd; on graduation day, I was overcome with a terrible sadness. I realized that my youth was over and now the struggle had begun.

  Michelangelo Antonioni

  Struggle, Sadness, Overcoming

  Source: scrapsfromtheloft.com

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• Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste and England are one down!

  Jonathan Pearce

  Football, Gold, Yeast

  "The hardest FA Cup of all" by Barry Glendenning, www.theguardian.com. February 5, 2003.

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• The dog approached again, cautiously. I found the bologna sandwich, ripped off a chunk, wiped the cheap watery mustard off, then placed it on the sidewalk. The dog walked up to the bit of sandwich, put his nose to it, sniffed, then turned and walked off. This time he didn't look back. He accelerated down the street. No wonder I had been depressed all my life. I wasn't getting proper nourishment.

  Charles Bukowski

  Dog, Looks, Sandwiches

  Charles Bukowski (2001). “Ham On Rye”, p.224, Canongate Books

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• You wanna do this...you wanna go right now...do you want to, GO?...then go get The Rock a bologna sandwich because this doesn't concern you.

  Dwayne Johnson

  Funny, Wwe, Rocks

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• I began reading Harper Lee's novel in the skimpy shade of a pine outside my grandmother's house, fat beagles pressing against me, begging for attention, ignored. At dark, I kept reading, first on the couch, a bologna sandwich in one hand, then in my bed, by the light of a 60-watt bulb hanging from the ceiling on an orange drop cord. When my mother came in from her job as a maid and unplugged my chandelier, I replayed the story in my head until it was crowded out by dreams. I woke the next morning, smelling biscuits, and reached for the book again.

  Rick Bragg

  Mother, Dream, Morning

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• The sandwich he made was bologna and cheese, his favorite. All the sandwiches he made were his favorites; that was one of the advantages of being single.

  Stephen King

  Being Single, Sandwiches, Cheese

  Stephen King (2008). “'Salem's Lot”, p.210, Anchor

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• Living and working for four decades in a Bologna apartment and studio he shared with his unwed sisters, Morandi painted little but bottles, boxes, jars, and vases. Yet like that of Chardin and the underappreciated William Nicholson, Morandi's work seems to slow down time and show you things you've never seen before.

  Jerry Saltz

  Bottles, Four, Littles

  4 Copy quote

• If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.234, Ballantine Books

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• Compromise, hell! That's what has happened to us all down the line -- and that's the very cause of our woes. If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

  Jesse Helms

  Believe, Causes, Lines

  49 Copy quote

• The stage is suspension of disbelief. Film is a literal medium.

  Joseph Bologna

  Film, Stage, Disbelief

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• There are people who say, 'Oh every time Catholics make the sign of the cross they re-crucify Christ.' Look, that's what comes under the theological classification of happy horse manure! That's bologna, absolute bologna! They don't know anything about our religion, and I don't purport to know anything about theirs. I respect theirs, respect ours. When we make the sign of the cross, we are simply making a statement of faith. I believe in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and I believe in the sign of the cross, because that is the sign of our salvation!

  John Corapi

  Horse, Father, Believe

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• [I have ] two boys. One, Nicholas, is a criminal defense attorney in Phoenix in which he - gets into - a lot of very controversial cases. He has sued Sheriff Arpaio, the famous sheriff who keeps people in tents, gives them green bologna and the like. My other son Tom is with Williams & Connolly in Washington, where he does intellectual property defamation cases.

  Nat Hentoff

  Son, Boys, Phoenix

  Source: thedailyhatch.org

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• I want to thank my amateur trainer. We started at the bottom together. Just because you were born at the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay at the bottom. After Saturday night, we're going to put that bologna away and go get a steak.

  Tavoris Cloud

  Mean, Night, Together

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• I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourselves!" I already like you, little fella. I used to draw you. If you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. That turkey was in an accident!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Couple, Hate

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• Kids are so smart these days. They sense when there's a phony bologna out there. Especially in music, when they see something that's being marketed to them, they'll call it out. They'll be like, "This chick is bullshit."

  Katy Perry

  Smart, Kids, Bullshit

  Interview with Kristen Wiig, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 8, 2012.

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