Funny Birthday Card Quotes

• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Birthday, Humor

  "Happy Birthday to You" by Don Meyer, Ph.D., www.huffingtonpost.com. October 1, 2013.

  103 Copy quote

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  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  103 Copy quote

• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Jack Benny

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

  New York Times, 1974.

  29 Copy quote

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• The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

  Pope Paul VI

  Birthday, Age, Tunes

  17 Copy quote

• Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

  Theodore Roosevelt

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Congratulations

  Theodore Roosevelt (2015). “Theodore Roosevelt on Bravery: Lessons from the Most Courageous Leader of the Twentieth Century”, p.7, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  63 Copy quote

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• Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Birthday, Congratulations, Age

  93 Copy quote
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  Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Family

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  60 Copy quote

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  455 Copy quote

• Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  C. E. M. Joad

  Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

  10 Copy quote

• Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.

  Lucy Larcom

  Inspirational, Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday

  LUCY LARCOM (1869). “POEMS”, p.179

  45 Copy quote

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• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  Chili Davis

  Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  80 Copy quote

• The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

  Robert Orben

  Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

  10 Copy quote

• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  22 Copy quote

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• Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

  Jean Paul

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Time

  4 Copy quote

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

  150 Copy quote

• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

  John Glenn

  Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

  "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

  79 Copy quote

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• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

  21 Copy quote

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• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  249 Copy quote
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  Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

  Coco Chanel

  Funny, Birthday, Beauty

  22 Copy quote

• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  118 Copy quote

• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  28 Copy quote

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• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  Pope John XXIII

  Birthday, Drinking, Wine

  85 Copy quote

• You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Blow

  6 Copy quote

• There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

  Lewis Carroll

  Birthday, Hypocrisy, Four

  Adrian Mitchell, Lewis Carroll (2001). “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass”, Oberon Books Limited

  10 Copy quote

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• They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

  Malcolm Cowley

  Birthday, Missing You, Mind

  Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982

  9 Copy quote

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