Funny Birthday Card Quotes

• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Birthday, Humor

  98 Copy quote

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• Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.

  Lucy Larcom

  Inspirational, Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday

  LUCY LARCOM (1869). “POEMS”, p.179

  41 Copy quote

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• The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

  Pope Paul VI

  Birthday, Age, Tunes

  16 Copy quote

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• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

  20 Copy quote

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• Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

  Theodore Roosevelt

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Congratulations

  Theodore Roosevelt (2015). “Theodore Roosevelt on Bravery: Lessons from the Most Courageous Leader of the Twentieth Century”, p.7, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  61 Copy quote

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• Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Birthday, Congratulations, Age

  82 Copy quote

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• 

  Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Family

  58 Copy quote

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  396 Copy quote

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• 

  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  87 Copy quote

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• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  Chili Davis

  Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  78 Copy quote

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• The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

  Robert Orben

  Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

  9 Copy quote

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• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  17 Copy quote

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• If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Jack Benny

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

  New York Times, 1974.

  18 Copy quote

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• Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  C. E. M. Joad

  Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

  9 Copy quote

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• Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

  Jean Paul

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Time

  4 Copy quote

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• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

  146 Copy quote

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• 

  Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

  Coco Chanel

  Funny, Birthday, Beauty

  18 Copy quote

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• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  106 Copy quote

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• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

  John Glenn

  Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

  "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

  77 Copy quote

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• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  240 Copy quote

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• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  23 Copy quote

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• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  Pope John XXIII

  Birthday, Drinking, Wine

  82 Copy quote

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• Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

  Franz Kafka

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Inspirational Birthday

  18 Copy quote

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• There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

  Lewis Carroll

  Birthday, Hypocrisy, Four

  Adrian Mitchell, Lewis Carroll (2001). “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass”, Oberon Books Limited

  7 Copy quote

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• They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

  Malcolm Cowley

  Birthday, Missing You, Mind

  Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982

  8 Copy quote

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