I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Tough times never last, but tough people do.
People will never forget how you made them feel.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
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