Funny Dog Quotes

• Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Animal, Car

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.118, Crown Archetype

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• Whoever said you can't buy Happiness forgot little puppies.

  Gene Hill

  Dog, Nature, Silly

  Gene Hill (2013). “A Hunter's Fireside Book: Tales of Dogs, Ducks, Birds, & Guns”, p.62, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Leadership, Dog, Race

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• Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

  Max Eastman

  Dog, Laughter, Laughing

  Max Eastman (2008). “Enjoyment of Laughter”, p.34, Transaction Publishers

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• If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

  Andy Rooney

  Dog, Fun, Owning A Pet

  Andy Rooney (2012). “Not That You Asked...”, p.14, Random House

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  The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.

  Mark Twain

  Dog, Men, Animal

  Mark Twain, William Dean Howells (1960). “Mark Twain-Howells Letters: The Correspondence of Samuel L. Clemens and William D. Howells, 1872-1910”, Belknap Press

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  If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

  Woodrow Wilson

  Inspiring, Dog, Silly

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• No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

  Christopher Morley

  Dog, Appreciation, Silly

  85 Copy quote

• Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

  Roger Caras

  Life, Dog, Sorry

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• The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

  Samuel Butler

  Dog, Humorous, Animal

  Notebooks (1912) ch. 14

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  What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Inspirational, Life, Basketball

  Eisenhower, Dwight D. (1959). “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1958”, p.135, Best Books on

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• I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspiring, Dog, Cat

  Attributed in "Animal century" by Mark Gold (, 1998.

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• Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

  Eloisa James

  Dog, Cat, Animal

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• I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Life, Leadership

  Speech at the Reform Club, April 28, 1981.

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• Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Inspirational, Dog, Hands

  Dr. Laurence J. Peter (2013). “Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times”, p.53, Harper Collins

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• A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.

  Orlando Aloysius Battista

  Funny, Dog, Humorous

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• I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

  Rita Rudner

  Dog, Witty, Religious

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• The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

  Margo Kaufman

  Funny, Dog, Pugs

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• The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Dog, Sorry

  Albert Einstein (2010). “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, p.415, Princeton University Press

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• The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Dog, Humor

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.13, University of Georgia Press

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• Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.

  Agnes Sligh Turnbull

  Life, Dog, Pet

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• If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

  James Thurber

  Dog, Nature, Animal

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• Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

  Jeff Valdez

  Funny, Dog, Cat

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

  Bernard Williams

  Happiness, Dog, Nature

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• Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.

  Corey Ford

  Funny, Dog, Witty

  Corey Ford (1952). “Every Dog Should Have a Man: The Care and Feeding of Dog's Best Friend”

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