Funny Friend Quotes - Page 4

• I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

  Sally Phillips

  Monkeys, Pubs, Nina

  "A funny five minutes with Sally Phillips". Interview with Mirror.co.uk, www.mirror.co.uk. May 30, 2010.

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• A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

  Erma Bombeck

  Birthday, Marriage, Husband

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media

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• A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.

  Samuel Butler

  Men

  Samuel Butler (2016). “The Way of All Flesh”, p.283, Samuel Butler

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• Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

  Agatha Christie

  Old Friends, Literature, Borrowed Time

  Agatha Christie “Annotated The Mysterious Affairs at Styles with English Grammar Exercises: by Agatha Christie (Author), Robert Powell (Editor)”, Powell Publications, LLC

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• My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion, a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved.

  Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

  Love, Funny, Friendship

  "Break of Day". Book by Sidonie Gabrielle Colette, 1928.

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• It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Love, Literature, Want

  The Crack-Up "Note-Books" (1945)

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• If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them

  Andy Borowitz

  People, Google, Ifs

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• More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Money, Suffering

  "Consumer's Edge". San Antonio Express-News, September 14, 2007.

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• I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Friendship, Witty

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• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Book

  "The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations". Book by Connie Robertson, 1996.

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• Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

  Lady Randolph Churchill

  Funny, Friendship, Best Friend

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• It is good to have some friends both in heaven and hell.

  George Herbert

  Heaven, Hell, Heaven And Hell

  "The poetical works of George Herbert: With life, critical dissertation, and explanatory notes".

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• Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.

  Charles Caleb Colton

  Horse, Wife, Abuse

  Charles Caleb Colton (1824). “Lacon, Or, Many Things in a Few Words: Addressed to Those who Think”, p.171

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• Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Friendship

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• One doesn't know, till one is a bit at odds with the world, how much one's friends who believe in one rather generously, mean to one.

  D. H. Lawrence

  Friendship, Real, Believe

  D. H. Lawrence, George J. Zytaruk, James T. Boulton (2002). “The Letters of D. H. Lawrence”, p.90, Cambridge University Press

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• It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Kids, Government, Library

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• There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

  Bing Crosby

  Friendship, Bad Friend, Negative

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• Time for Tolerance,Equality, and Acceptance, It's allways TEA time with my Friends.

  Gregory Douglass

  Friendship, Acceptance, Tolerance

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• Life is so much friendlier with two.

  A. A. Milne

  Two, Life Is

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• Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

  Bruce White

  Giving, Our Family

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• Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.

  Yasser Arafat

  Friendship, Inspiring, Military

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• Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.

  Austin O'Malley

  Friendship, Two, Different Faces

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• Without friends the world is but a wilderness.

  Francis Bacon

  World, Wilderness, Without Friends

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• I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?

  Christian Slater

  Friendship, Worst Enemy, Differences

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• Why would anybody want a friend?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Want

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