Funny Friend Quotes - Page 5

• A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

  George Ade

  Best Friend, Time, Useless

  George Ade (1903). “People You Know”

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• However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.

  Francois de La Rochefoucauld

  Love, Friendship, Patience

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• Friends are the sunshine of life.

  John Hay

  Love, Friendship, Relationship

  John Hay (1913). “Poems”

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• True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
  Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.

  Alexander Pope

  Friendship, True Friend, Law

  Translation of the Odyssey, bk. 15, l. 83 (1725 - 1756)

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• Every man should have a fair-sized cemetary in which to bury the faults of his friends.

  Henry Adams

  Friendship, Men, Should Have

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• We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.

  P. D. James

  Sarcastic, Funny Friendship, War

  P.D. James (2012). “Shroud for a Nightingale”, p.327, Simon and Schuster

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• Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Hilarious, Food

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• I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.

  Malcolm Bradbury

  Friendship, Bad Friend, Emotional

  Malcolm Bradbury (2011). “The History Man”, p.87, Pan Macmillan

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• I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Friendship, Humor

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• Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Love, Best Friend, Friendship

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• The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Friendship, Best Friend, True Love

  Henry David Thoreau (2012). “The Portable Thoreau”, p.114, Penguin

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• Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Friendship, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays”, p.139, Simon and Schuster

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• No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.

  Francois Mauriac

  Love, Best Friend, Friendship

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• Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.

  Woodrow Wilson

  Friendship, Patience, Cousin

  Woodrow Wilson, Albert Bushnell Hart (2002). “Selected Addresses and Public Papers of Woodrow Wilson”, p.258, The Minerva Group, Inc.

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• I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Sarcastic, New Relationship

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde”, p.27, Wordsworth Editions

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• Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too.

  Thomas Fuller

  Friendship, Thyself, Great Friendship

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• The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Funny, Writing, Humor

  Arthur Schopenhauer (2016). “101 Facts of life”, p.12, Publishdrive

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• I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humorous, Kids

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• I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me. I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way.

  Edgar Guest

  Friendship, Mean, Old Friends

  Edgar Guest (1916). “A Heap o' Living'”

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• I don't believe in things like that - fairies or brownies or magic or anything. It's old-fashioned.' 'Well, we must be jolly old-fashioned then,' said Bessie. 'Because we not only believe in the Faraway Tree and love our funny friends there, but we go to see them too - and we visit the lands at the top of the Tree as well!

  Enid Blyton

  Believe, Land, Tree

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• In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers.

  Pam Brown

  Friendship, War, Distance

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• I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.

  Nicolas Chamfort

  Love, Funny, Friendship

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• Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.

  Horace Walpole

  Funny, Life, Ghouls

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• I don't like half the folks I love.

  Paul Thorn

  Half, Folks

  Song: I don't like half the folks i love

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• Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, New Relationship, Technology

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Dec 18, 2011

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