Funny Golfing Quotes

• Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.

  Ken Venturi

  Running, Art, Distance

  6 Copy quote

• Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.

  Samuel Johnson

  Golf, Games, Childhood

  6 Copy quote

• In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.

  Ken Harrelson

  Leadership, Baseball, Running

  13 Copy quote

• If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

  Tom Mulligan

  Golf, Get Better, Age

  7 Copy quote

• Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.

  Fletcher Knebel

  Golf, Men, Feet

  13 Copy quote

• You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

  Bobby Jones

  Golf, Thinking, Swings

  83 Copy quote

• You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

  Bob Bruce

  Senior, Golf, Knows

  14 Copy quote

• I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.

  David Brenner

  Golf, People, Watches

  9 Copy quote

• Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game.

  Phil Blackmar

  Sports, Bad Day, Golf

  43 Copy quote

• To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. That means practice.

  Seve Ballesteros

  Motivational Sports, Mean, Golf

  71 Copy quote

• The woods are full of long drivers.

  Harvey Penick

  Golf, Long, Woods

  Harvey Penick, Davis Love III (2012). “Harvey Penick's Little Red Book: Lessons And Teachings From A Lifetime In Golf”, p.29, Simon and Schuster

  60 Copy quote

  Show source

• They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

  Gardner Dickinson

  Believe, Golf, Complicated

  7 Copy quote

• I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

  Seve Ballesteros

  Golf, Play, Rough

  65 Copy quote

• The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Sports, Golf, Games

  Letter on May 15, 1925. "Ernest Hemingway: Selected Letters 1917 - 1961", book edited by Carlos Baker, 1981.

  29 Copy quote

  Show source

• The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

  John Updike

  Golf, Swings, Trying

  John Updike (2009). “More Matter: Essays and Criticism”, p.124, Random House

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

  Sam Snead

  Golf, Dimes, Whiskey

  28 Copy quote

• I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Real, Golf, Play

  8 Copy quote

• After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Dirty, Golf, Play

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  73 Copy quote

  Show source

• The most important shot in golf is the next one.

  Ben Hogan

  Golf, Important, The Next One

  63 Copy quote

• The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

  George Deukmejian

  Funny, Lying, Golf

  47 Copy quote

• I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

  Ben Crenshaw

  Distance, Golf, Ears

  51 Copy quote

• Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Talking, Balls

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• The harder you work, the luckier you become.

  Carl Karcher

  Wrestling, Golf, Bodybuilding

  10 Copy quote

• Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

  Brian Tracy

  Motivational, Perseverance, Work

  85 Copy quote

• Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

  Harry Vardon

  Funny, Retirement, Golf

  40 Copy quote