Funny Golfing Quotes

• It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

  Jack Nicklaus

  Golf, Gains, Shots

  78 Copy quote

• I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

  Ben Crenshaw

  Distance, Golf, Ears

  48 Copy quote

• Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Talking, Balls

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

  8 Copy quote

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• My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

  George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

  Golf, Swings, Practice

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

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• The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  35 Copy quote

• Forget your opponents; always play against par.

  Sam Snead

  Golf, Play, Focus

  61 Copy quote

• Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.

  Alex Hay

  Funny, Inspiring, Golf

  4 Copy quote

• Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

  Arnold Palmer

  Motivational, Sports, Golf

  FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

  23 Copy quote

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• Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

  Jimmy Demaret

  Sex, Golf, Enjoy

  20 Copy quote

• If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

  Bob Hope

  Dirty, Golf, Play

  4 Copy quote

• Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Golf, Games

  Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

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• Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

  William Wordsworth

  Sports, Retirement, Golf

  'The Prelude' (1850) bk. 4, l. 376

  5 Copy quote

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• Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

  Tiger Woods

  Basketball, Sports, Sexy

  124 Copy quote

• The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

  George Deukmejian

  Funny, Lying, Golf

  43 Copy quote

• The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

  Pete Dye

  Funny, Golf, Play

  47 Copy quote

• Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.

  Paul Harvey

  Writing, Golf, Games

  4 Copy quote

• Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.

  Jack Nicklaus

  Sports, Golf, Winning

  8 Copy quote

• Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

  Sam Snead

  Sports, Golf, Hazards

  49 Copy quote

• These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

  Sam Snead

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  9 Copy quote

• I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Funny, Golf, Play

  5 Copy quote

• I never learned anything from a match that I won.

  Bobby Jones

  Golf, Funny Golf, Inspirational Golf

  73 Copy quote

• After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Dirty, Golf, Play

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  69 Copy quote

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• Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

  Lee Trevino

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  10 Copy quote

• I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

  Lee Trevino

  Dirty, Golf, Games

  Quoted in Scholastic Coach,'Coaches' Corner', Dec 1982.

  56 Copy quote

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• My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

  Lee Trevino

  Golf, Swings, Lunch

  77 Copy quote