Funny Golfing Quotes - Page 4

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

Sports, Golf, Iron

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Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

Tiger Woods

Basketball, Sports, Sexy

149 Copy quote
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

William Wordsworth

Sports, Retirement, Golf

'The Prelude' (1850) bk. 4, l. 376

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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

Winston Churchill

Funny, Golf, Games

Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

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If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

Bob Hope

Dirty, Golf, Play

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Forget your opponents; always play against par.

Sam Snead

Golf, Play, Focus

70 Copy quote
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

Pete Dye

Funny, Golf, Play

53 Copy quote
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

Ben Hogan

Sports, Golf, Air

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I never learned anything from a match that I won.

Bobby Jones

Golf, Funny Golf, Inspirational Golf

79 Copy quote
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Joe E. Lewis

Funny, Golf, Play

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Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.

Jack Nicklaus

Sports, Golf, Winning

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It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

Jack Nicklaus

Golf, Gains, Shots

86 Copy quote
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Dirty, Golf, Gold

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Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.

Alex Hay

Funny, Inspiring, Golf

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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

Jimmy Demaret

Sex, Golf, Enjoy

25 Copy quote
The harder you work, the luckier you become.

Carl Karcher

Wrestling, Golf, Bodybuilding

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Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

Brian Tracy

Motivational, Perseverance, Work

87 Copy quote
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

Ben Crenshaw

Distance, Golf, Ears

52 Copy quote
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

George Deukmejian

Funny, Lying, Golf

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The most important shot in golf is the next one.

Ben Hogan

Golf, Important, The Next One

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After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Dirty, Golf, Play

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Harry Vardon

Funny, Retirement, Golf

41 Copy quote
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

Bruce Lansky

Golf, Talking, Balls

Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

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You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

Bobby Jones

Golf, Thinking, Swings

86 Copy quote
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

Gardner Dickinson

Believe, Golf, Complicated

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