A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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