Funny Politician Quotes

• There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.

  Sydney J. Harris

  Voting, Democracy, Republican

  51 Copy quote

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

  109 Copy quote

  Show source

• Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)

  525 Copy quote

  Show source

• Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

  Oscar Ameringer

  Life, Witty, Art

  68 Copy quote

• In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.

  Len Deighton

  Funny, Air, Lenses

  102 Copy quote
• 

  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcastic, Believe

  Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

  1435 Copy quote

  Show source

• Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Leadership, Business, Women

  Margaret Thatcher, Iain Dale (1997). “As I said to Denis--: the Margaret Thatcher book of quotations”, Robson Book Ltd

  65 Copy quote

  Show source

• Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

  George Jean Nathan

  Freedom, Democracies Have, Political

  95 Copy quote

• Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

  Richard Armour

  Years, Long, Greed

  93 Copy quote

• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  287 Copy quote

• A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Humorous, Next Week

  In B. Adler Churchill Wit (1965) p. 4

  86 Copy quote

  Show source

• Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

  George W. Bush

  Witty, Nature, Children

  "You've been a great audience ..." by Oliver Burkeman, www.theguardian.com. January 7, 2009.

  67 Copy quote

  Show source

• Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Political, Wish

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

  59 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Political Will, Greed, Nerd

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

  86 Copy quote

  Show source

• I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

  Al Gore

  Funny, Witty, Regret

  8 Copy quote

• The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Stupid, Mean

  72 Copy quote

• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  29 Copy quote

• For NASA, space is still a high priority.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Science

  Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

  62 Copy quote

  Show source

• A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

  Texas Guinan

  Funny, Life, Country

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  63 Copy quote

  Show source

• I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Phoenix

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  16 Copy quote

  Show source

• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  74 Copy quote
• 

  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  218 Copy quote

• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  247 Copy quote

• He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Careers

  Major Barbara (1907) act 3

  105 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you can't convince them, confuse them.

  Harry S. Truman

  Witty, Business, Silly

  Harry S. Truman, Steve Neal (2003). “Miracle of Forty-eight”, p.139, SIU Press

  41 Copy quote

  Show source