Funny Politician Quotes

• There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.

  Sydney J. Harris

  Voting, Democracy, Republican

  47 Copy quote

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

  98 Copy quote

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• Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)

  506 Copy quote

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• Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

  Oscar Ameringer

  Life, Witty, Art

  63 Copy quote

• In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.

  Len Deighton

  Funny, Air, Lenses

  100 Copy quote
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  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcastic, Believe

  Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

  1421 Copy quote

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• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  276 Copy quote

• Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

  Richard Armour

  Years, Long, Greed

  87 Copy quote

• Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Leadership, Business, Women

  Margaret Thatcher, Iain Dale (1997). “As I said to Denis--: the Margaret Thatcher book of quotations”, Robson Book Ltd

  61 Copy quote

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• Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

  George Jean Nathan

  Freedom, Democracies Have, Political

  91 Copy quote

• He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Careers

  Major Barbara (1907) act 3

  96 Copy quote

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• I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Phoenix

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  14 Copy quote

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• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  70 Copy quote
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  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  205 Copy quote

• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  243 Copy quote

• A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Humorous, Next Week

  In B. Adler Churchill Wit (1965) p. 4

  80 Copy quote

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• If you can't convince them, confuse them.

  Harry S. Truman

  Witty, Business, Silly

  Harry S. Truman, Steve Neal (2003). “Miracle of Forty-eight”, p.139, SIU Press

  36 Copy quote

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• We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

  Aesop

  Witty, Government, Political Will

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  94 Copy quote

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• I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

  Charles de Gaulle

  Life, Political, Politics

  Quoted in Clement Attlee, A Prime Minister Remembers (1961) See Briand 2; Clemenceau 4

  101 Copy quote

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• Truth is not determined by majority vote.

  Douglas Gwyn

  Witty, Truth, Majority Vote

  "Why not pick *nice* places for the Usenix conventions?". Douglas Gwyn's post in USENET newsgroup comp.org.usenix, groups.google.com. July 3, 1991.

  6 Copy quote

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• If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

  Emma Goldman

  Political, Voting, Nerd

  61 Copy quote

• The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.

  Dan Quayle

  Holocaust, Stupid Funny, Dumb Celebrity

  Campaign remark, Moore, Okla., 15 Sept. 1988. These remarks were quoted in the L.A. Times, 16 Sept. 1988.

  72 Copy quote

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• Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.

  Rush Limbaugh

  Feminist, Feminism, Dumb Things

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  39 Copy quote

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• When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Witty, Funny Inspirational, Government

  P J O'Rourke (1992). “Parliament of Whores-Open Mark”, Vintage Books USA

  21 Copy quote

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• Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

  Winston Churchill

  Leadership, Witty, Party

  Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

  84 Copy quote

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