Funny Sex Quotes - Page 4

• Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

  Steve Martin

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  16 Copy quote

• We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

  Lily Tomlin

  Witty, Sex, Believe

  36 Copy quote

• My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

  Les Dawson

  Funny, Sexy, Sex Relationships

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

  Woody Allen

  Movie, Sex, Humorous

  Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman.

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• It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.

  Brigitte Bardot

  Funny, Faith, Sexy

  41 Copy quote

• No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Anniversary, Humor, Cat

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

  Tracey Ullman

  Funny, Witty, Recycling

  Interview with Nicki Gostin, www.newsweek.com. September 19, 2004.

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• Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.

  Charles Bukowski

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  Charles Bukowski (2013). “Notes of a Dirty Old Man”, p.127, City Lights Books

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• I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

  Jay McInerney

  Love, Life, Witty

  Twitter post from Jan 09, 2013

  127 Copy quote

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• My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

  Bob Hope

  Witty, Sex, Father

  8 Copy quote

• Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Sex, Goodness

  77 Copy quote

• There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.

  Norman Mailer

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  The International Herald Tribune, January 24, 1992.

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• The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Sex, Liberty

  87 Copy quote

• Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Sexy

  Love and Death (motion picture) (1975)

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• Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.

  Andy Warhol

  Sex, Sexuality, All Time

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

  Woody Allen

  Witty, Sex, Fun

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• Instruction in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not only are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never warned that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons so incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure living together for a week much less a lifetime.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sex, Together, Important

  15 Copy quote

• I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

  Erma Bombeck

  Trust, Sex, Giving Up

  71 Copy quote

• I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

  Louis C. K.

  Sex, Car, Sex Drive

  7 Copy quote

• My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.

  Margaret Cho

  Boyfriend, Sex, Mean

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• I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

  Phyllis Diller

  Boyfriend, Sex, Miles

  18 Copy quote

• After being alive, the next hardest work is having sex. Of course, for some people it isn't work because they need the exercise and they've got the energy for the sex and the sex gives them even more energy. Some people get energy from sex and some people lose energy from sex. I have found that it's too much work. But if you have the time for it, and if you need that exercise-then you should do it.

  Andy Warhol

  Sex, Exercise, People

  Andy Warhol (2014). “The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again”, p.110, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.

  William H. Masters

  Sex, Home, Kids

  7 Copy quote

• In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.

  Nora Ephron

  Cute, Sex, Erotic

  Nora Ephron (2012). “Crazy Salad and Scribble Scribble: Some Things About Women and Notes on Media”, p.25, Vintage

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• Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  TV Series "Comedy Central Presents" ("Dave Attell", 1999), (1998– ).

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