If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
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