Gas Quotes

• Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.

  Dorothy Parker

  Suicide, Depressing, Gun

  "Resume" l. 5 (1926)

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• A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

  Bill Cosby

  Funny, Fathers Day, Children

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Fatherhood”, Berkley Publishing Group

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• Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

  Joey Bishop

  Money, Thinking, Gas Stations

  18 Copy quote

• Even if gas prices fall, consumers will continue to be gouged at the pump the only thing that we can be sure rises faster that the price of gasoline is the skyrocketing profits of oil companies.

  Major Owens

  Fall, Oil, Gasoline

  7 Copy quote

• Someone tried to save my soul in a gas station.

  Orlando Bloom

  Soul, Gas Stations, Stations

  13 Copy quote

• I made a mistake when I said there were no gas chambers at Auschwitz.

  David Irving

  Mistake, Made, Said

  "Historian David Irving Gets Three Years in Holocaust Denial Case", www.foxnews.com. February 20, 2006.

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• The American Dream has run out of gas. The car has stopped. It no longer supplies the world with its images, its dreams, its fantasies. No more. It's over. It supplies the world with its nightmares now: the Kennedy assassination, Watergate, Vietnam.

  J. G. Ballard

  Running, Dream, America

  Metaphors, No. 7, 1983.

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• Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas.

  Esa Tikkanen

  Inspirational, Funny, Running

  15 Copy quote

• I'm not saying that the gas chambers didn't exist. I couldn't see them myself.

  Jean-Marie Le Pen

  Chamber, Gas Chambers

  20 Copy quote

• When you write a two thousand page history of the Second World War, the deportations and the concentration camps will take up five pages, and the gas chambers perhaps 20 lines.

  Jean-Marie Le Pen

  War, Writing, Two

  93 Copy quote

• We had no electricity, no gas. Food was probably our greatest entertainment - the most fun thing that we could do was food.

  Paul Prudhomme

  Fun, Entertainment, Electricity

  7 Copy quote

• God made man to go by motives, and he will not go without them, any more than a boat without steam or a balloon without gas.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Motivation, War, Ambition

  67 Copy quote

• Politics are very much like war. We may even have to use poison gas at times.

  Winston Churchill

  War, Poison, Use

  10 Copy quote

• Western society has many flaws, and it is good for an educated person to have thought some of these through, even at the expense of losing a lecture or two to tear gas.

  Robert B. Laughlin

  Two, Tears, Lectures

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• Some of you say religion makes people happy. So does laughing gas.

  Clarence Darrow

  People, Laughing, Religion

  Clarence Darrow's remarks at a debate with religious leaders in Kansas City, as quoted in a Emanuel Haldeman-Julius' eulogy for Clarence Darrow, 1938.

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• Finally, we should help developing nations like China and India curb their exponentially increasing consumption of oil and natural gas, which is driving world prices higher.

  Bobby Jindal

  Oil, India, World

  52 Copy quote

• In my almost ten years in the House of Representatives, I have voted consistently to allow companies to drill for oil and natural gas in environmentally friendly ways.

  Virgil Goode

  Oil, Years, House

  7 Copy quote

• An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

  Fred Allen

  Life, Success, Congratulations

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.215, Wildside Press LLC

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• I've always thought space station is a great name. It should be like a gas station where we go for service and supplies before heading further out

  Wally Schirra

  Names, Space, Gas Stations

  13 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Book, Humor

  19 Copy quote

• People really feel that, when they go to the gas pump now, that the oil cartel is holding them by the legs and tipping them upside down and shaking money out of their pockets.

  Ed Markey

  Oil, People, Pockets

  "Hardball with Chris Matthews", www.nbcnews.com. May 4, 2005.

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• Mental fight means thinking against the current, not with it. It is our business to puncture gas bags and discover seeds of truth.

  Virginia Woolf

  Truth, Business, Mean

  "Thoughts on Peace in an Air Raid".

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• Natural gas is hemispheric; I like to call it hemispheric in nature, because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.

  George W. Bush

  Stupid, Dumb, Election

  "THE 43rd PRESIDENT; Excerpts From News Conference in Which Bush Named Treasury Secretary". George W. Bush's remarks at the news conference in Austin, Texas, www.nytimes.com. December 20, 2000.

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• When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

  George Carlin

  Night, Light, Lamps

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Light

  58 Copy quote