Golf Humor Quotes - Page 2

• Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

  Lee Trevino

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  15 Copy quote

• Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Years, Serious

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.201, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  11 Copy quote

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• I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.

  Ben Hogan

  Funny, Golf, Games

  8 Copy quote

• If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

  Paul Gallico

  Golf, Men, Handicaps

  Paul Gallico (2015). “Farewell to Sport”, p.165, Open Road Media

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• They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

  Gardner Dickinson

  Believe, Golf, Complicated

  9 Copy quote

• Swing hard in case you hit it.

  Dan Marino

  Golf, Swings, Inspirational Baseball

  21 Copy quote

• I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

  George Brett

  Golf, Swimming, House

  12 Copy quote

• Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses...

  Adlai Stevenson I

  Funny, Golf, Church

  "The Political Thought of Adlai E. Stevenson" by William Robert Latimer, (p. 89), 1955.

  10 Copy quote

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• After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Dirty, Golf, Play

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  74 Copy quote

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• A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Golf, Time Zones, Balls

  14 Copy quote

• It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

  Robert Wilson Lynd

  Sports, Golf, World

  10 Copy quote

• I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sports, Hate

  Quoted in Michael HobbsThe Golf Quotation Book (1992).

  8 Copy quote

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• If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

  Sam Snead

  Sports, Golf, Knives

  37 Copy quote

• It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Sports, Inspiration

  73 Copy quote

• The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.

  H. G. Wells

  Beauty, Golf, Men

  H. G. Wells (2015). “Delphi Complete Works of H. G. Wells”, p.4845, Delphi Classics

  24 Copy quote

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• While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

  Henny Youngman

  Golf, Two, Balls

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  46 Copy quote

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• Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Hope, Golf

  46 Copy quote

• I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

  Don Adams

  Golf, Balls, Today

  15 Copy quote

• May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

  Ben Hogan

  Lying, Golf, Water

  23 Copy quote

• Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.

  Jack Nicklaus

  Sports, Golf, Winning

  12 Copy quote

• Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Golf, Long Walks, Two

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.265, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  9 Copy quote

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• My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

  George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

  Golf, Swings, Practice

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

  Ben Hogan

  Funny, Sports, Athlete

  12 Copy quote

• Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.

  Ken Venturi

  Running, Art, Distance

  7 Copy quote

• If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

  Tom Mulligan

  Golf, Get Better, Age

  8 Copy quote