Guy Quotes - Page 27

• You know when you see an advertisement for a casino, and they have a picture of a guy winning money? That's false advertising, because that happens the least. That's like if you're advertising a hamburger, they could show a guy choking. "This is what happened once."

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Winning

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• I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Mean

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• Having the experience of senior guys around you just makes things easier as they all contribute ideas and set the standards for the group.

  George Bailey

  Senior, Ideas, Groups

  Source: cricket.yahoo.com

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• That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

  Jerry Coleman

  Funny, Baseball, Humor

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• Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.

  Jerry Coleman

  Funny, Baseball, Humor

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• Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

  Tucker Max

  Pussy, Trying, Sides

  Source: www.complex.com

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• According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does.

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Humor, Alcohol

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• There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.

  Jim Jefferies

  Thinking, Play, Trying

  Source: manofmany.com

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• I'm not much of a math and science guy. I spent most of my time in school daydreaming and managed to turn it into a living. When I was making "Star Wars," I wasn't restrained by any kind of science. I simply said, "I'm going to create a world that's fun and interesting, makes sense, and seems to have a reality to it."

  George Lucas

  Stars, Fun, War

  Source: www.boston.com

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• I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind of guy who wanted to do one. I don't think people want to see me saying "Honey, I'm home." It's just not my thing.

  Chris Rock

  Home, Thinking, People

  Source: www.oprah.com

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• I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than the rest of the country. It's almost like they dress the same as they did 20 years ago. The same old guys are sitting outside the same dirty, dingy secret offices in the Capitol that you're not allowed to go in.

  Dave Barry

  Country, Dirty, Years

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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• This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay hundreds of millions of dollars under this plan. I think it was Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, the guys who do the quiz shows. But almost everybody else would be off really cheap.

  Dave Barry

  Cheating, Thinking, Years

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• I was very pleased to get a Supreme Court justice suggesting a column, so I went and did a column about Beano. I went with my wife and another guy to a Mexican restaurant, which we thought would be the ultimate test for an antiflatulance product. There's a reason most of Mexico is located out of doors. And it worked. Several newspapers refused to run that column. But they did run advertisements for Beano.

  Dave Barry

  Running, Doors, Justice

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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• I'm not going to waste my energy looking into the eyes of someone like the guy who blew my legs off trying to find a way to forgive him for doing something that horrible when there are way more productive ways I could be spending my life. You've got to focus on moving on.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Moving, Eye, Focus

  Source: blogcritics.org

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• People tend to read books about a guy who goes back in time or a guy who is living under a pier.

  Andy Andrews

  Book, People, Piers

  "Andy Andrews Interview: Modern Day Will Rogers Details His Latest Novel, 'The Noticer'". Interview with Melissa Parker, smashinginterviews.com. June 11, 2009.

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• I'm not a guy who can go in and go, "Hey, are we doing right or wrong?" I just do it. And whatever it is, it is.

  Eric Church

  Hey, Doing Right, Just Do It

  Source: radio.com

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• Standup is tough; if you are going through a hard period in your life, it is very hard to get up in front of people and be the happy guy in the room.

  Doc Brown

  People, Rooms, Tough

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• Women in stores will pull their children away from me sometimes so they won't catch the crazy Creed virus. Other folks are disappointed that I'm not that guy in person.

  Creed Bratton

  Children, Crazy, Viruses

  Source: rocksucker.co.uk

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• I wanted people to know that I'm not just a guy who does weird videos on the Internet. I actually am a filmmaker, and I can tell stories, and I can create something that's 90 minutes long that feels just like any other movie you see in the theater, and hopefully enjoy.

  Shane Dawson

  Feels Just, Long, People

  Source: cultural-learnings.com

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• I'm a really lucky guy, I have a good wardrobe of suits and things, and I have a wife that gives me a direction if I'm doing something wrong. I live a great life and I do what I love, which is wonderful.

  Nacho Figueras

  Giving, Wife, Lucky

  Source: www.refinery29.com

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• I wish my daughters would box. I'm so worried about the guys coming up to them. I would love them to be able to smack a guy right off a bar stool.

  Sylvester Stallone

  Daughter, Wish, Bars

  "Stallone's daughters make history as first Miss Golden Globe sister act". www.foxnews.com. January 5, 2017.

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• I'm more of a rodeo type guy.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Rodeo, Type

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• I enjoy hunting, but if I had my choice to go deer hunting or bass fishing, I'd take bass fishing any day of the week. I enjoy both of them, but yeah, I'm a very outdoorsy guy.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Hunting, Fishing, Choices

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• Some guy came up to me with his kids, ages probably 10 and 12, and said that the reason he likes me is because he sat through an hour and twenty-minute show, and I didn't cuss one time. So it just really depends.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kids, Age, Twenties

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• I look back, it taught me something - it taught me how to live, how to be a better guy, not let defeat be the end of my life.

  Arnold Palmer

  Looks, Taught, Defeat

  Source: kellysgolfhistory.blogspot.com

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