Last Night Quotes - Page 15

• From last night's All Together Now, a Celebration of Service: There can be no definition of a successful life that does not include service to others.

  George H. W. Bush

  Successful, Night, Together

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• Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

  Joan Rivers

  Husband, Night, Doors

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• It's all about what you feel on the inside - and I'm feeling like a chocolate chip cookie because I had about ten of them last night!

  Amber Benson

  Night, Feelings, Chocolate

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• Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

  Johnny Carson

  New York, Night, Lasts

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• Don't start your day with broken pieces of the past. Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours.

  Zig Ziglar

  Past, Night, Yesterday

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• A fan is always an outsider. Most sportswriters are not, by this definition, fans. They capitalize on access to athletes. They spoke to Kobe last night, and Kobe says his finger is going to be fine. They spent three days fly-fishing with Brett Favre in March, and Brett says he's definitely coming back for another season.

  Malcolm Gladwell

  Athlete, Night, Fishing

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• Last night, I had that dream again. I dreamt I had to take a test, in a Dairy Queen, on another planet.

  Laurie Anderson

  Dream, Queens, Night

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• It would be so much better if the critics would come, not on first nights, but on last nights, when they could exercise their undoubted flair for funeral orations.

  Orson Welles

  Exercise, Night, Funeral

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• Last night was Super Tuesday - a 10-state GOP Primary orgy. A big, sweaty pile of lever-yankin Republican voters. And like most orgies, it involves a bunch of middle aged guys who are not appealing to women.

  Stephen Colbert

  Night, Tuesday, Guy

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• Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.

  Tina Fey

  Night, Eight, Laughing

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• I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

  Henny Youngman

  Girl, Night, Lasts

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• When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

  Demetri Martin

  Night, Stories, Lasts

  Twitter post from Aug 16, 2012

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• Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Girl, Party, Night

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• I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

  Doug Stanhope

  Night, Men, Thinking

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• Nowadays people think that history is what was on TV last night.

  Michael Dibdin

  Night, Thinking, People

  Michael Dibdin (2008). “Medusa”, p.199, Faber & Faber

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• Last night I let the party get the best of me.

  Wiz Khalifa

  Party, Night, Lasts

  Song: No Sleep, Album: Rolling Papers, 2011

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• Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Night, Phones, Dating

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.99, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, 'Is Adam there?' My father would say, 'This is Adam.' My friends would say, 'Adam, you were so wasted last night.'

  Adam Sandler

  Father, Drinking, Night

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• I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.

  Douglas Adams

  Home, Heart, Night

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• I drove in last night,' he said. 'I couldn't sleep, it was too hot. So I went outside. I was feeling melancholy. Then I danced with a beautiful girl, and I felt better. What's your story?

  Judy Blundell

  Beautiful, Girl, Sleep

  Judy Blundell (2010). “What I Saw And How I Lied”, p.52, Scholastic Inc.

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• Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

  Scott Adams

  Night, Lasts, Dilbert

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• Looking at the sky last night and the moon in the first fresh dark, just a few stars, bright with their cold flares, I had a little crumpled thought, 'Oh well, the moon. It's just another place like California.' One's imagination drags its feet as we are inexorably hauled into the future.

  James Schuyler

  Stars, Dark, Moon

  James Schuyler, Nathan Kernan (1997). “The diary of James Schuyler”, Black Sparrow Pr

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• I saw thousands of pumpkins last night come floating in on the tide, bumping up against the rocks and rolling up on the beaches; it must be Halloween in the sea

  Richard Brautigan

  Beach, Halloween, Night

  Richard Brautigan (1989). “Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America ; The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster ; And, In Watermelon Sugar”, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Did we kiss last night?" "Yes." "Well, it wasn't memorable because I have no recollection of it." He laughs. "I was kiddin'. We didn't kiss." He leans in. "When we kiss you'll remember it.Forever.

  Simone Elkeles

  Memorable, Kissing, Night

  Simone Elkeles (2011). “Perfect Chemistry”, p.152, Simon and Schuster

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• I had fun last night," I told Patch, flicking off my chin strap and handing over my helmet. "I'm officially on love with your sheets." "That the only thing you're in love with?" "Nope. Your mattress, too." Some smile crept into Patch's eyes. "My bed's an open invitation.

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Fun, Eye, Night

  Becca Fitzpatrick (2013). “Silence”, p.433, Simon and Schuster

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