My Girlfriend Quotes

• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

  Steven Wright

  Good Morning, Girlfriend, Mistake

  58 Copy quote

• My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

  Jay London

  Girlfriend, Personality, Fit

  52 Copy quote

• I don't date my girlfriend because she's a model. I date her because I love her.

  Adam Levine

  Girlfriend, Models

  "Inside Adam Levine's Private Life". Interview With Mickey Rapkin, www.elle.com. November 10, 2011.

  52 Copy quote

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• When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Nora Ephron

  Love, Life, Relationship

  Nora Ephron (2011). “When Harry Met Sally. . .”, p.97, Knopf

  115 Copy quote

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• We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

  Sam Keen

  Love, Friendship, Anniversary

  389 Copy quote

• You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

  Taylor Swift

  I Love You, Cute Love, Anniversary

  Song: Mine, Album: Speak Now, 2010

  79 Copy quote

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• Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

  Joe Rogan

  Girlfriend, Trying, Path

  6 Copy quote
• 

  I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Girlfriend, Mad

  30 Copy quote

• I always say now that I'm in my blonde years. Because since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonde.

  Hugh Hefner

  Girlfriend, Years, Dating

  7 Copy quote

• My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

  Twitter post from Nov 14, 2009

  18 Copy quote

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• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

  Emo Philips

  Relationship, Girlfriend, Eye

  78 Copy quote

• I love my girlfriend to bits. I'd never do anything to hurt her.

  Charlie Simpson

  Girlfriend, Hurt, Bits

  4 Copy quote

• Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

  Jackie Mason

  Girlfriend, Thinking, Wife

  54 Copy quote

• I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

  Bo Burnham

  Funny, Girlfriend, Uncles

  Song: Ironic, Album: Words Words Words, 2010

  8 Copy quote

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• I've stayed good friends with most of my girlfriends.

  Richard Gere

  Girlfriend, Good Friend

  "Changing Gere". Interview with Andrew Goldman, www.elle.com. April 24, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

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• I never broke up with my girlfriends, they broke up with me.

  Manny Pacquiao

  Girlfriend, Broke Up, Broke

  "The Complex 7: Ricky Hatton & Manny Pacquiao". Complex Interview, www.complex.com. May 2, 2009.

  20 Copy quote

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• I love getting a smile out of my girlfriend - that makes me feel like I'm seen, or heard.

  Jason Mraz

  Girlfriend, Heard, Feels

  Interview with Maranda Pleasant, www.marandapleasantmedia.com. August 01, 2014.

  3 Copy quote

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• My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Religious, Girlfriend, Wall

  233 Copy quote

• When my girlfriend cooks dinner, I'm happy to do the dishes. Because I make her wash dishes when I take her to a restaurant.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Dinner, Restaurants

  Twitter post from Jan 19, 2011

  12 Copy quote

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• My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She's always eating chocolate. And she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction. You know, she'd be like keep me away from those chocolate bars, I'm addicted to them. And it's really annoying. So one day I put her in the car and I drove her downtown and I pointed out a crack addict. And I said you see that honey? Why can't you be that skinny?

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Addiction, Car

  "Anthony Jeselnik: The Dark Prince Of Comedy". "Ask Me Another" with Ophira Eisenberg, www.npr.org. August 14, 2014.

  225 Copy quote

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• My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.

  Emo Philips

  Girlfriend, Emo, Eye

  22 Copy quote

• My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.

  Emo Philips

  Girlfriend, Crazy, Needs

  17 Copy quote

• I care a lot about what my girlfriend thinks, and my friends, but ultimately it's me in the mirror. I just want to be proud of what I do.

  Rachel Maddow

  Girlfriend, Thinking, Mirrors

  "Rachel Maddow’s Star Power". Interview with Clara Jeffery, www.motherjones.com. January/February 2009.

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• I have definitely been in experiences where my girlfriends have outgrown me and that's ok and I think that I should be inspired by that to know that it's time to move on - it's time to evolve as well and I think that should be inspirational to other people. They shouldn't feel stifled and feel like oh we can't grow up, we can't move on - change is a good thing.

  Adrienne Bailon

  Girlfriend, Growing Up, Moving

  3 Copy quote

• I have never turned to my girlfriend and said, Oh, okay, babe, and I see it in scripts all the time.

  Casey Wilson

  Girlfriend, Scripts, Babe

  3 Copy quote