Trousers Quotes - Page 2

• A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Men

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• Sneaking was a kind of deceit. So was disguise. Just past midnight, wearing dark trousers and Fox's hood, the queen snuck out of her own rooms and stepped into a world of stories and lies.

  Kristin Cashore

  Queens, Lying, Dark

  Kristin Cashore (2012). “Bitterblue”, p.22, Penguin

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• All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Humor, Men

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• Dear designer of questionable intent, Please send me a photo of yourself. Please be wearing the knitted pants that you designed. It's not that I don't believe that there is anyone out there thing enough to wear horizontally stripped trousers knit from chunky wool, it's just that I would like to know whether you are deliberately cruel or whether you are the one woman these would look really great on.

  Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

  Believe, Wool, Looks

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• I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.

  Katharine Whitehorn

  Sports, Dark, Umpires

  "Lynne Truss is latest in a tradition of distaff talents to grace the sportspages" by Frank Keating, www.theguardian.com. December 1, 2009.

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• No, I have never wanted to be a man. I have often wanted to be more effective as a woman, but I have never felt that trousers would do the trick!

  Eleanor Roosevelt

  Men, Tricks, Wanted

  Eleanor Roosevelt (1946). “If You Ask Me”

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• But I am convinced that those Jews who stand aside today with a malicious smile and with their hands in their trousers' pockets will also want to dwell in our beautiful home.

  Theodor Herzl

  Smile, Beautiful, Home

  Theodor Herzl (1960). “Herzl Speaks His Mind on Issues, Events, and Men”

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• Charles Chaplin makes a million dollars a year out of a funny, shuffling walk and a pair of baggy trousers, because he does "something different." Take the hint and "individualize" yourself with some distinctive idea.

  Napoleon Hill

  Years, Ideas, Doe

  Napoleon Hill (2008). “The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams”, p.260, Penguin

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• A Duke couldn't have the arse hanging out of his trousers when meeting foreign diplomats. Actually even plain old Sam Vimes never had the arse hanging out of his trousers, either, but no one would have actually started a war if he had.

  Terry Pratchett

  War, Arses, Diplomats

  Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

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• My cousin Georgia says that boys are like gazelles. She says the get alarmed when they get close to girls. And they have to leap off into the woods like gazelles in trousers. Or have I just made that up?

  Louise Rennison

  Girl, Cousin, Boys

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• While other guitars may have more twang or an esoteric atmosphere, the Les Paul is like a T-Rex thampling everything in it's path .. it can be subtle if you want it to be, but it works best if you have an 'armadillo in your trousers' and you want to articulate that

  Miles Zuniga

  Music, Guitar, Atmosphere

  4 Copy quote

• I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.

  Dylan Moran

  Fancy, Trams

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• And so my music, it doesn't matter if I did it 20 years ago or if I did it tomorrow. It doesn't go with trends. My trousers don't get wider and tighter every six months. My music just stays what it is, and that's the way I like it.

  George Harrison

  Years, Six Months, Trends

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• But ‘art’ is not anything serious or exclusive: it is the smell of oil paint, Henri Murger’s Vie de Boheme, corduroy trousers, the operatic Italian model: but the poetry, above all, of linseed oil and turpentine.

  Wyndham Lewis

  Art, Italian, Oil

  Wyndham Lewis, Scott W. Klein (2010). “Tarr”, p.7, Oxford University Press

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• I sometimes used to ask myself, what on earth did I love her for? Maybe fore the warm hazel iris of her fluffy eyes, or for the natural side-wave of her brown hair, done anyhow, or again for that movement of her plump shoulders. But, probably the truth was that I loved her because she loved me. To her I was the ideal man: brains, pluck. And there was none dressed better. I remember once, when I first put on that new dinner jacket, with the vast trousers, she clapsed her hands, sank down on a chair and murmured: 'Oh, Hermann...." It was ravishment bordering upon something like heavenly woe.

  Vladimir Nabokov

  Eye, Men, Hair

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• Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.

  Christopher Moore

  Ducks, Paper, Pants

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• A recession is when you have to tighten your belt; depression is when you have no belt to tighten. When you've lost your trousers - you're in the airline business.

  Adam Thomson

  Airline Business, Aviation, Lost

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• If you've got a CD that's not working, just wipe it on your trousers, and if you're not wearing any trousers, put some on

  John Peel

  Cds, Wipe, Ifs

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• Were it not for the Clash, punk would have been just a sneer, a safety pin and a pair of bondage trousers.

  Billy Bragg

  Safety Pins, Pairs, Punk

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• When I was in primary school, my best friend was a boy and we always goofed around, climbed trees, got holes in my trousers and muddied all my tops and things like that; a complete nightmare for the washing, but great fun.

  Maisie Williams

  Fun, School, Boys

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• The longer I practise medicine, the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don't.

  Alan Bennett

  Science, Two, Medicine

  1973 Habeas Corpus.

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• Eating's going to be a whole new ball game. I may even have to buy a new pair of trousers.

  Lester Piggott

  Retirement, Games, Balls

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• Spring. March fans it, April christens it, and May puts on its jacket and trousers.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Spring, Fans, May

  Henry David Thoreau (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Henry David Thoreau (Illustrated)”, p.1949, Delphi Classics

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• I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, "Poor Pussy!" and stoop down and tickle the side of its head; and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers; and all is gentleness and peace.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Cat, Iron, Pussy

  Jerome K. Jerome (2010). “Three Men in a Boat”, Giunti Editore

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• I was a mod when I was a kid. I'd be in Italian pencil-leg trousers with those bowling shoes you wear outside and a Fred Perry polo shirt with a V-neck sweater. It was like an Essex uniform - a very specific look.

  Stephen Moyer

  Kids, Italian, Sweaters

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