My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.
I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.
Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.
I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.
Everybody worships me, it's nauseating.
Though the fact that they have to be rebuilt And frequently mortgaged to the hilt Is inclined to take the gilt Off the gingerbread, And certainly damps the fun Of the eldest son.
Comedies of manners swiftly become obsolete when there are no longer any manners.
Any part of the piggy Is quite all right with me Ham from Westphalia, ham from Parma Ham as lean as the Dalai Lama Ham from Virginia, ham from York, Trotters Sausages, hot roast pork. Crackling crisp for my teeth to grind on Bacon with or without the rind on Though humanitarian I'm not a vegetarian. I'm neither crank nor prude nor prig And though it may sound infra dig Any part of the darling pig Is perfectly fine with me.
It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but my own.
There's always something fishy about the French.
There are bad times just around the corner, There are dark clouds travelling through the sky, And it's no good whining, About a silver lining, For we know from experience they won't roll by...
You always ought to have tom cats arranged, you know - it makes 'em more companionable.
The pleasures that once were heaven look silly at sixty-seven.
Here ends the story of a ship, but there will always be other ships, for we are an island race. Through all our centuries, the sea has ruled our destiny. There will always be other ships and men to sail in them. It is these men, in peace or war, to whom we owe so much. Above all victories, beyond all loss, in spite of changing values in a changing world, they give to us, their countrymen, eternal and indomitable pride.
It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see, That though the English are effete They're quite impervious to heat.
Christopher Marlowe or Francis Bacon The author of Lear remains unshaken Willie Herbert or Mary Fitton What does it matter? The Sonnets were written.
Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.
The air is like a draught of wine. The undertaker cleans his sign, The Hull express goes off the line, When it's raspberry time in Runcorn.
I don't think pornography is harmful, but it is terribly, terribly boring.
A bloody good thing, but too late.
It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.
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