An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading: Henny Youngman. He was a wise man who invented beer
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
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