Steven Wright Quotes About Life

Quotes about: Life

• I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Reading

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Birthday

• Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Baby

• I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

  Steven Wright

  Inspirational, Life, Thinking

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Positive, Success

• Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

  Steven Wright

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

• I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Peace

• Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Running

• I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Witty, Humorous

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Humor

• Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So, what did you think?

  Steven Wright

  Life, Baby, Destiny

• I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Gone

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