Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Page 7

Quotes about:

• Screaming. Did I mention the screaming? Screaming is usually associated with horror films and roller coasters. This is why I usually look like I've just watched a horror film on a rollercoaster. Kids love to scream. Frightened, happy, bored. They scream. I've actually learned to love the sound of a vacuum cleaner. It's just so peaceful.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Kids, Bored, Peaceful

  Jim Gaffigan (2013). “Dad Is Fat”, p.109, Crown Archetype

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• Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Running, Baby, Thinking

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• Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Cookies, Letterman

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• The amount of guilt you deal with as a parent is pretty profound. It's a constant balancing act. I'm an ambitious person, but when I became a father, ambition had a different hold on me. Providing for my kids was important, but the superficial ambition drifted away.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Father, Ambition, Kids

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

  Jim Gaffigan

  People, Vegetarian

  "Jim And Jeannie Gaffigan Talk "The Jim Gaffigan Show". Interview with Lauren Yapalater and Whitney Jefferson, www.buzzfeed.com. May 28, 2015.

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• I've been outed as a Christian.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Christian

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Comedian, Important

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Comedian, Married, Kind

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I think being a doctor is really hard, and it's really this thankless, never-ending job. It's not even that you get done with a project. There are always sick people.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Jobs, Thinking, Doctors

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Kids, Stage, Curse

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I'm there to make people laugh. I'm not trying to come across as sexy.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Sexy, People, Laughing

  "Q&A With Jim Gaffigan: ‘Hot Pocket’ Comedian Reaches Out to Our Wounded Soldiers (VIDEO)". Interview with Joshua Kors, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 8, 2012.

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• I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Silly, Guy, Eccentric

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• Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. "In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Television, Comedy

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• I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Catholic, St Patrick, My Family

  Source: www.npr.org

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• I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of "sit back and wait your turn," or "sit back and wait and let other people do things."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, People, Waiting

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Winning, Eight, Talking

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• There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Next Week

  "Jim Gaffigan’s ‘Dad Is Fat’ Tells Story Of Loner With ‘Acute Case Of Children’", www.huffingtonpost.com. May 7, 2013.

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• My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Children, Men, Two

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Dad, Sibling, Kids

  "Q&A With Jim Gaffigan: ‘Hot Pocket’ Comedian Reaches Out to Our Wounded Soldiers (VIDEO)". Interview with Joshua Kors, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 8, 2012.

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• I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

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• I don't want people to think I believe in God.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Believe, Thinking, People

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.

  Jim Gaffigan

  People, Comedy, Educated

  Source: www.npr.org

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• What's amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there's an ending you can see. There's an enthusiasm to it.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Television, Enthusiasm

  "EXCLUSIVE: Jim Gaffigan Brings the Funny with King Baby". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. March 27, 2009.

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• It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Impact, Profound

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, What If

  "Comedian Jim Gaffigan Shares How To Survive Holiday Political Debates". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. November 23, 2016.

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