Birthday Wishes Funny Quotes

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

439 Copy quote
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

Robert Orben

Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

15 Copy quote
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Pope John XXIII

Birthday, Drinking, Wine

102 Copy quote
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Lucille Ball

Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

153 Copy quote
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

551 Copy quote
There is still no cure for the common birthday.

John Glenn

Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

"Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

87 Copy quote

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The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

Oprah Winfrey

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

69 Copy quote
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

131 Copy quote
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

53 Copy quote

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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Chili Davis

Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

97 Copy quote
If you're not getting older, you're dead.

Tom Petty

Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday, Getting Older

"The Tavis Smiley Show", www.pbs.org. June 15, 2010.

34 Copy quote

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Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

C. E. M. Joad

Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

13 Copy quote
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Jack Benny

Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

New York Times, 1974.

43 Copy quote

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God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Voltaire

Life, Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday

70 Copy quote
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Germaine Greer

Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

266 Copy quote
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

Lewis Carroll

Birthday, Hypocrisy, Four

Adrian Mitchell, Lewis Carroll (2001). “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass”, Oberon Books Limited

14 Copy quote

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Time and tide wait for no man.

Geoffrey Chaucer

Inspirational, Birthday, Time

75 Copy quote
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

Robert Frost

Funny, Birthday, Time

9 Copy quote
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older

70 Copy quote
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Satchel Paige

Happy Birthday, Baseball, Fun

Quoted in Garson Kanin, It Takes a Long Time to Become Young (1978)

149 Copy quote

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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Herbert V. Prochnow

Love, Funny, Relationship

Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

31 Copy quote

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Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Mary Schmich

Funny, Birthday, Knowledge

19 Copy quote
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Gracie Allen

Funny Birthday, Funny Inspirational, Women

28 Copy quote
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

William Shakespeare

Birthday, Happiness, Being Happy

1596-7 Graziano toAntonio.TheMerchant ofVenice, act1, sc.1, l.79-80.

72 Copy quote

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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

Funny, Life, Birthday

105 Copy quote