Birthday Wishes Funny Quotes

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Lucille Ball

Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

110 Copy quote
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Pope John XXIII

Birthday, Drinking, Wine

86 Copy quote
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

Oprah Winfrey

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

57 Copy quote
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Chili Davis

Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

80 Copy quote
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

120 Copy quote
There is still no cure for the common birthday.

John Glenn

Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

"Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

80 Copy quote

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

465 Copy quote
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

31 Copy quote

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In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

364 Copy quote
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

Robert Orben

Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

10 Copy quote
If you're not getting older, you're dead.

Tom Petty

Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday, Getting Older

"The Tavis Smiley Show", www.pbs.org. June 15, 2010.

30 Copy quote

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Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older

64 Copy quote
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

Robert Frost

Funny, Birthday, Time

5 Copy quote
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

C. E. M. Joad

Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

10 Copy quote
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Germaine Greer

Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

250 Copy quote
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

Lewis Carroll

Birthday, Hypocrisy, Four

Adrian Mitchell, Lewis Carroll (2001). “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass”, Oberon Books Limited

10 Copy quote

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Time and tide wait for no man.

Geoffrey Chaucer

Inspirational, Birthday, Time

70 Copy quote
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Jack Benny

Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

New York Times, 1974.

29 Copy quote

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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Satchel Paige

Happy Birthday, Baseball, Fun

Quoted in Garson Kanin, It Takes a Long Time to Become Young (1978)

128 Copy quote

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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Dorothy Parker

Birthday, Age, May

151 Copy quote
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

Funny, Life, Birthday

94 Copy quote
God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Voltaire

Life, Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday

60 Copy quote
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

Groucho Marx

Funny, Birthday, Time

101 Copy quote
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

Funny, Birthday, Humorous

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.21, St. Martin's Press

16 Copy quote

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Steven Wright

Funny, Happy Birthday, Friends

31 Copy quote