Drunk Quotes - Page 25

• By the time dessert arrives I am usually so drunk, I can't remember what I'm serving.

  Ruby Wax

  Remember, Dessert, I Can

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• I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those drunk chicks who killed that one dude because he wouldn't have sex with them.' His professors must be so proud. I asked him if he knew what maenads were, and instead of correctly answering that it was just another name for Bacchants, he bizarrely thought I was referring to my own testicles - as in, "'Ere now, mate, don't swing that bat around me nads.'" The conversation deteriorated quickly after that.

  Kevin Hearne

  Sex, Swings, Names

  Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hexed: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Two”, p.50, Del Rey

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• I was walking late one night along a tree-lined path; a chestnut fell at my feet. The noise it made as it burst, the resonance it provoked in me, and an upheaval out of all proportion to this insignificant event thrust me into miracle, into the rapture of the definitive, as if there were no more questions-only answers. I was drunk on a thousand unexpected discoveries, none of which I could make use of. ... This is how I nearly reached the Supreme. But instead I went on with my walk.

  Emile M. Cioran

  Night, Feet, Discovery

  Emile M. Cioran (1976). “The Trouble with Being Born”, Viking Books

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• Water is the medicine for indigestion; it is invigorating when the food that is eaten is well digested; it is like nectar when drunk in the middle of a dinner; and it is like poison when taken at the end of a meal.

  Chanakya

  Taken, Medicine, Water

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• Let every emotion be capable becoming an intoxication to you. If what you eat fails to make you drunk, it is because you are not hungry enough.

  Andre Gide

  Becoming, Emotion, Failing

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• When I am drunk I am at my best. It is the national knack of the French.

  Orson Scott Card

  Knack

  Orson Scott Card (2010). “Heartfire: The Tales of Alvin Maker”, p.124, Macmillan

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• But when the dust has drunk the blood of men, no resurrection comes for one who's dead.

  Aeschylus

  Men, Dust, Blood

  Aeschylus (1868). “The Tragedies of Aeschylos: A New Translation with a Biographical Essay, and an Appendix of Rhymed Choral Odes”, p.191

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• A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?

  David Letterman

  Golf, Waiting, Guy

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• The country was a dreamland; and perhaps it even reminded my wife's grandfather of the night he woke up drunk in his friend's house, beside his friend's wife, everything similar but new, different, better. The United States of America was like an eternity of those first disorientating seconds of not knowing and not wanting to.

  Tod Wodicka

  Country, Night, Knowing

  Tod Wodicka (2008). “All Shall Be Well; And All Shall Be Well; And All Manner of Things Shall Be Well”, p.87, Random House

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• I'm not really the party person. I don't "become myself" once I'm drunk. I don't use alcohol to be happy.

  Jessie J

  Party, Alcohol, Use

  "The Very Colorful Jessie J". Interview with Lauren Brown, www.glamour.com. April 10, 2012.

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• We certainly noted that when given the opportunity, women handle money more efficiently. They have long term vision, they manage money more carefully. Men are more callous with money. Their first reflex is to blow it by getting drunk in a pub, or on prostitutes or gambling. Women, on the other hand, are endowed with a tremendous sense of self-sacrifice and try to get the best out of the money, for their children, but also for their husbands.

  Muhammad Yunus

  Children, Husband, Sacrifice

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• I don't know who Keyser Soze is, but whoever he is, he is going to get gloriously drunk tonight.

  Kevin Spacey

  Tonight, Knows

  "Spacey Wins Oscar for Best Supporting Actor". articles.latimes.com. March 26, 1996.

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• When I did TV shows and movies, the studios did demographic research. They were shocked to find that my audience isn't just men who are too drunk to turn off the TV after football. It's women, too. I don't know exactly why, other than that I've tried to remain true to myself for all these years. I have gone through a lot, and I've been open about it. Maybe they look at me and can see how you can grow up, have children, continue to be sexy, get married and divorced and, though you grew up poor, live the American dream. I'm very blessed. I'm happy for it all.

  Pamela Anderson

  Sexy, Football, Dream

  Playboy, May 2004.

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• I don't say that the drunk man is the real man, and the sober man merely a shell. But you find out something different about people when they're drunk. Of course, you sometimes find that they're not different at all--that you merely get more of the same, perhaps said rather more loudly and incoherently, but basically the same.

  Kingsley Amis

  Real, Men, People

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• I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube.

  Aaron Paul

  People, Funny Videos, Youtube

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.

  Aaron Paul

  Fall, Annoying, Inappropriate

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Real, Vegas, Years

  "Janeane Garofalo’s ‘marriage’ no joke". pagesix.com. November 13, 2012.

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• I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's like- it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street.

  Tucker Carlson

  Mean, Men, Looks

  "Real Time with Bill Maher". TV Series, www.imdb.com. (2003 - ).

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• Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and laughing bad-breathed in your face at its own unfunny jokes.

  Glen Duncan

  Life, Party, Yarn

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• The drunk kids, the catholics They're all about the same They're waiting for something Hoping to be saved

  Conor Oberst

  Kids, Waiting, Catholic

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• I consider myself to be a true friend of the Israeli people. But I define friendship as someone who takes care of a friend, who just doesn't use or exploit a friend. And, you know, there's that old adage: 'Friends don't let friends drive drunk'.

  Scott Ritter

  True Friend, People, Use

  Speech at New York Ethical Culture Society, 2006.

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• Doing a life study while drunk and in the process of being seduced is never a formula for quality art.

  Dan Simmons

  Art, Quality, Study

  Dan Simmons (2014). “The Hyperion Cantos 4-Book Bundle: Hyperion, The Fall of Hyperion, Endymion, The Rise of Endymion”, p.653, Spectra

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• Oh, you crows! Feast away! What a spread! Soup straight from the eye sockets! And thick red sake! But don't have too much Or you'll surely get drunk.

  Eiji Yoshikawa

  Eye, Crow, Soup

  Eiji Yoshikawa (1981). “Musashi”, HarperCollins Publishers

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• I have actually programmed a fair bit in Perl, like I have C++ code published with my name on it. Other things I have tried and have no intention to do again if I can at all avoid it include smoking, getting drunk enough to puke and waste the whole next day with hang-over, breaking a leg in a violent car crash, getting mugged in New York City, or travel with Aeroflot.

  Erik Naggum

  New York, Cities, Names

  Re: How is perl braindamaged? (was Re: Is LISP dying?) (Usenet article), groups.google.com. July 28, 1999.

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• The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.

  Douglas Adams

  Lying, Ideas, Alcohol

  "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Original Radio Scripts".

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