Funny Parent Quotes - Page 2

• Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

  Anne Frank

  Inspirational, Growing Up, Women

  FaceBook post by Anne Frank from Nov 29, 2014

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• If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.

  Laurence Housman

  Marriage, Mothers Day, Mom

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

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• In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

  Bill Cosby

  Courage, Children, Dark

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Fatherhood”, Berkley Publishing Group

  13 Copy quote

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• Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Children, Food

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.113, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kid's therapy.

  Michelle Pfeiffer

  Funny, Husband, Kids

  18 Copy quote

• If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

  Abigail Van Buren

  Inspirational, Motivational, Family

  70 Copy quote

• We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Hilarious, Mom

  1274 Copy quote

• Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

  E. W. Howe

  Children, Parenting, Hands

  17 Copy quote

• Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

  Haim Ginott

  Happy Mothers Day, Children, Parenting

  54 Copy quote

• I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Humor, Parenting

  60 Copy quote

• Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.

  Peter Ustinov

  Children, Cutting, Parenting

  33 Copy quote

• To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

  Josh Billings

  Family, Children, Dad

  Josh Billings (1953). “Uncle Sam&s uncle Josh”

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• The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants.

  William Shakespeare

  Family, God, Meaningful

  William Shakespeare (2010). “Double Falsehood: Third Series”, p.118, A&C Black

  13 Copy quote

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• Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.

  Bill Ayers

  Kids, Parenting, Compassion

  "An Unconditional Embrace". Interview with Gabriel Lyon, www.tolerance.org. Spring 1998.

  58 Copy quote

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• Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

  William Feather

  Mothers Day, Mom, Children

  William Feather (1949). “The Business of Life”

  11 Copy quote

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• It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.

  Ben Berger

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  21 Copy quote

• Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mom, Witty, Funny Inspirational

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.81, Penguin

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• I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Family, Mom

  77 Copy quote

• I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.

  Jodi Picoult

  Mother, Parenting, Offers

  "My Sister's Keeper". Book by Jodi Picoult, April 6, 2004.

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• I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.

  Anne Lamott

  Inspiring, Funny Inspirational, Children

  Anne Lamott (1994). “Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year”, Fawcett

  61 Copy quote

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• Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

  Bill Cosby

  Motivational, Baby, Children

  Twitter post from Nov 06, 2009

  57 Copy quote

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• Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

  Bill Cosby

  Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

  91 Copy quote

• It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mothers Day, Mom, Fathers Day

  68 Copy quote

• Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

  Joey Adams

  Children, Parent, Advice

  Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.

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• It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.

  Homer

  Children, Dad, Father

  11 Copy quote