Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.
When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.
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