Happy Valentines Day Funny Quotes

• The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.

  Rumi

  Anniversary, Marriage, Valentines Day

  Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi, “Untitled”

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  The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

  Helen Keller

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  702 Copy quote

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• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

  83 Copy quote

• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Witty

  125 Copy quote

• Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.

  Thomas Merton

  Love, Valentines Day, Fate

  Thomas Merton (1979). “Love and Living”, p.32, Macmillan

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• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  "Winnie-the-Pooh: The House at Pooh Corner". Book by A. A. Milne, 1928.

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• Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

  Jules Renard

  Love, Inspirational, Valentines Day

  58 Copy quote

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  179 Copy quote

• My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

  Rita Rudner

  Boyfriend, Marriage, Breakup

  16 Copy quote

• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

  182 Copy quote

• True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  Erich Segal

  Love, Inspiring, Valentines Day

  80 Copy quote

• Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  Roseanne Barr

  Valentines Day, Funny Relationship, Men

  4 Copy quote

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

  69 Copy quote

• Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

  Jay Leno

  Valentines Day, Men, Names

  12 Copy quote

• I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.

  Emma Goldman

  Life, Valentines Day, Nature

  54 Copy quote

• 'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  I Love You, Valentines Day, I Love Him

  9 Copy quote
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  For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  Love, Funny, Romantic

  153 Copy quote

• What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

  Pearl Bailey

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Weekly World News" Magazine, Vol. 26, No. 33, April 25, 2005.

  46 Copy quote

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• Love is a game that two can play and both win.

  Eva Gabor

  Love, Valentines Day, Fun

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  49 Copy quote

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• When love is not madness, it is not love.

  Pedro Calderon de la Barca

  Love, Relationship, Romantic

  30 Copy quote

• If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.

  Maya Angelou

  Inspirational, Life, Smile

  Maya Angelou (2012). “The Collected Autobiographies of Maya Angelou”, p.424, Modern Library

  69 Copy quote

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• Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

  Aristotle

  Love, Life, Positive

  Attributed to Aristotle in Diogenes Laertius "The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers" translated by C. D. Yonge and Henry G. Bohn (p. 188), 1853.

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  When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wisdom

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

  88 Copy quote

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• Things must be felt with the heart.

  Helen Keller

  Long Distance Relationship, Valentine, Heart

  63 Copy quote