Happy Valentines Day Funny Quotes

• Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

  Mickey Rooney

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. May 15, 2010.

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• Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun.

  Armistead Maupin

  Valentines Day, Fun, Valentine's Day

  Armistead Maupin (1992). “Maybe the moon: a novel”, HarperCollins Publishers

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• Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

  1261 Copy quote

• My heart to you is given:
  Oh, do give yours to me; We'll lock them up together, And throw away the key.

  Arthur Frederick Saunders

  I Love You, Romantic, Valentines Day

  4 Copy quote
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  For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  Love, Funny, Romantic

  151 Copy quote

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  179 Copy quote

• I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.

  Emma Goldman

  Life, Valentines Day, Nature

  54 Copy quote
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  The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

  Helen Keller

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

  83 Copy quote

• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Witty

  125 Copy quote

• Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.

  Thomas Merton

  Love, Valentines Day, Fate

  Thomas Merton (1979). “Love and Living”, p.32, Macmillan

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• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  "Winnie-the-Pooh: The House at Pooh Corner". Book by A. A. Milne, 1928.

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• Love is a game that two can play and both win.

  Eva Gabor

  Love, Valentines Day, Fun

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  49 Copy quote

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• If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.

  Maya Angelou

  Inspirational, Life, Smile

  Maya Angelou (2012). “The Collected Autobiographies of Maya Angelou”, p.424, Modern Library

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• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

  69 Copy quote

• True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  Erich Segal

  Love, Inspiring, Valentines Day

  80 Copy quote
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  When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wisdom

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

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• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

  181 Copy quote

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.

  Rumi

  Anniversary, Marriage, Valentines Day

  Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi, “Untitled”

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• What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

  Pearl Bailey

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Weekly World News" Magazine, Vol. 26, No. 33, April 25, 2005.

  46 Copy quote

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• Things must be felt with the heart.

  Helen Keller

  Long Distance Relationship, Valentine, Heart

  63 Copy quote

• Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

  Jay Leno

  Valentines Day, Men, Names

  12 Copy quote

• 'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  I Love You, Valentines Day, I Love Him

  9 Copy quote

• Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  Roseanne Barr

  Valentines Day, Funny Relationship, Men

  4 Copy quote