I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends