Political Humor Quotes

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

  103 Copy quote

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• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  280 Copy quote

• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  72 Copy quote
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  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  210 Copy quote

• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  244 Copy quote

• A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

  Edward Abbey

  Inspirational, Country, Freedom

  Edward Abbey (2015). “A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”, p.17, RosettaBooks

  92 Copy quote

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  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Trust, Witty

  Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

  411 Copy quote

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• The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

  Mark Twain

  Laughter, Political, United States

  Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated)”, p.58, BIG BYTE BOOKS

  13 Copy quote

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• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  Abraham Lincoln

  Funny, Witty, Powerful

  68 Copy quote

• Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)

  515 Copy quote

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• Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

  Alexei Sayle

  Funny, Stupid, President

  18 Copy quote

• The gift of truth excels all other gifts.

  Gautama Buddha

  Buddhist, Truth, Philosophy

  18 Copy quote

• I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Money, Stupid

  Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

  9 Copy quote

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• One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

  Dan Quayle

  Witty, Responsibility, Political

  39 Copy quote

• Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

  John F. Kennedy

  Mom, Mother, Growing Up

  John F. Kennedy, Dominique Enright (2003). “The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy”, Michael O'Mara Books

  12 Copy quote

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• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Funny, Witty, Truth

  26 Copy quote

• The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate - you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer - the caps, I guess they're there. But they didn't mean much.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Mean, Discipline

  4 Copy quote

• They have miscalculated me as a leader.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Leader, Political

  www.theguardian.com. September 13, 2000.

  3 Copy quote

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• It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Ira

  "Bush, in his own words" by Jacob Weisberg, www.theguardian.com. November 3, 2000.

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• Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Sixteen

  23 Copy quote

• We must have the attitude that every child in America - regardless of where they're raised or how they're born - can learn.

  George W. Bush

  Children, Attitude, Humor

  Remarks at Central Connecticut State University, georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov. April 18, 2001.

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• Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Taiwan

  "Choppy waters" by Jay Branegan and James Carney, www.cnn.com. April 30, 2001.

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• Presidents, whether things are good or bad, get the blame. I understand that.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, President

  Press Conference in The James S. Brady Briefing Room, georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov. May 11, 2001.

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• This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Decision, Political

  George W. Bush's Remarks and His Majesty King Abdullah of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan in Photo Opportunity, georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov. April 10, 2001.

  21 Copy quote

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• And we need a full affront on an energy crisis that is real in California and looms for other parts of our country if we don't move quickly.

  George W. Bush

  Country, Real, Moving

  5 Copy quote