Political Humor Quotes

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

  120 Copy quote

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• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  299 Copy quote

• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  78 Copy quote
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  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  249 Copy quote

• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  254 Copy quote

• A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

  Edward Abbey

  Inspirational, Country, Freedom

  Edward Abbey (2015). “A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”, p.17, RosettaBooks

  100 Copy quote

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• 

  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Trust, Witty

  Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

  443 Copy quote

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• The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

  Mark Twain

  Laughter, Political, United States

  Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated)”, p.58, BIG BYTE BOOKS

  14 Copy quote

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• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  Abraham Lincoln

  Funny, Witty, Powerful

  75 Copy quote

• Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)

  557 Copy quote

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• The gift of truth excels all other gifts.

  Gautama Buddha

  Buddhist, Truth, Philosophy

  22 Copy quote

• Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

  Alexei Sayle

  Funny, Stupid, President

  19 Copy quote

• Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

  John F. Kennedy

  Mom, Mother, Growing Up

  John F. Kennedy, Dominique Enright (2003). “The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy”, Michael O'Mara Books

  14 Copy quote

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• I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Money, Stupid

  Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

  11 Copy quote

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• One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

  Dan Quayle

  Witty, Responsibility, Political

  43 Copy quote

• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Funny, Witty, Truth

  28 Copy quote

• The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate - you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer - the caps, I guess they're there. But they didn't mean much.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Mean, Discipline

  5 Copy quote

• They have miscalculated me as a leader.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Leader, Political

  www.theguardian.com. September 13, 2000.

  5 Copy quote

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• It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Ira

  "Bush, in his own words" by Jacob Weisberg, www.theguardian.com. November 3, 2000.

  4 Copy quote

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• Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Sixteen

  24 Copy quote

• To give law enforcement the additional tools it needs to track down terror here at home.

  George W. Bush

  Home, Humor, Law

  Address to Joint Session of Congress Following 9/11 Attacks, delivered 20 September 2001

  4 Copy quote

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• We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a nation is firm, yet our wounds as a people are recent and unhealed and lead us to pray... This world he created is of moral design. Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance, and love have no end, and the Lord of life holds all who die and all who mourn... Neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth can separate us from God's love.

  George W. Bush

  Grief, Humor, Angel

  Remarks at the National Day of Prayer & Remembrance Service, delivered 14 September 2001, Episcopal National Cathedral

  5 Copy quote

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• As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Responsibility, Political

  14 Copy quote

• Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Mexican, Political

  "Presidency of dunces" by Jonathan Freedland, www.theguardian.com. April 25, 2001.

  8 Copy quote

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• Please don't kill me!

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Kill Me

  4 Copy quote