Sarcasm Quotes - Page 14

• As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

  Carrie Fisher

  Funny, People, Old Age

  Carrie Fisher (2012). “Shockaholic”, p.26, Simon and Schuster

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• You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

  Carrie Fisher

  Sarcastic, Fake People, Entertainment

  Carrie Fisher (2011). “Postcards From the Edge”, p.83, Simon and Schuster

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• Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

  Megan Fox

  Sarcastic, Print, Translate

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

  George Bernard Shaw

  Love, Life, Sex

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• If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Funny, Sarcastic, Book

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• When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Sarcastic, War, Language Words

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• There's a good sarcasm and a camaraderie that comes after being in a band. And we've known each other forever. We've never been a band that fought or argued. As a songwriter, I'm really happy that the boys support me and contribute and that, but I've always wanted to be under the band Stereophonics.

  Kelly Jones

  Boys, Support, Forever

  Source: time.com

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• I do sarcasm really poorly.

  Brittany Murphy

  Sarcastic

  "Brittany Murphy: 'Don't listen to' gossip" by Meriah Doty, www.cnn.com. August 15, 2003.

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• Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Inspirational, Dog, Witty

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• Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Sarcastic, Time, Past

  1978 In the San Francisco Chronicle, 29 Jan.

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• What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Country, Cowboy

  "Creative Leadership: Mining the Gold in Your Workforce". Book by A. S. Migs Damiani, p. 168, 1998.

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• I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

  Andy Rooney

  Sarcastic, Food, Thinking

  "Eating Out With Andy Rooney; With Every Course, an Opinion" by Bryan Miller, www.nytimes.com. October 04, 1989.

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• When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

  Andy Rooney

  Sarcastic, Peppers, Want

  "Eating Out With Andy Rooney; With Every Course, an Opinion" by Bryan Miller, www.nytimes.com. October 04, 1989.

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• My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Fake People, Husband

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• Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.88, St. Martin's Press

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• Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

  Lisa Birnbach

  Sense Of Humor, Preppy

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• Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down.

  Cassandra Clare

  Humor, Should Have, Cities

  Cassandra Clare (2012). “Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instruments Series (5 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels, City of Lost Souls”, p.1118, Simon and Schuster

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• A careful blending of sarcasm, irony, and teasing, bickering has its own distinctive cadence and rhythm and is as difficult to master as French, Spanish, or any elective second language. Like Chinese, the fine points of bickering can be discerned in the subtle rise and fall of the voice. If not practiced properly, bickering can be mistaken for its less sophisticated counterpart: whining.

  Linda Sunshine

  Fall, Voice, Chinese

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• Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

  Kristen Schaal

  Sarcastic, Print

  Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. January 20, 2011.

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• My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

  Jeff Ross

  Uncles, Aunt, Grandparent

  "Comedy, Then and Now: Laughing With the Legends of Stand-Up From the 1800’s to 2010" by Steve North, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 6, 2010.

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• This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn't know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.

  Stephenie Meyer

  Hurt, Pain, Eye

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• Well, I'd certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death." He blinked. "There is a fine line between sarcasm and outright hostility, and you seem to have crossed it. What's up?

  Cassandra Clare

  Hate, Night, Lines

  Cassandra Clare (2008). “City of Bones”, p.216, Simon and Schuster

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• Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books.

  Alec-Tweedie

  Book, Interesting, Wit

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• sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them.

  David Foster Wallace

  Bottles, Care, Helping

  David Foster Wallace (2011). “Infinite Jest”, p.60, Hachette UK

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• Oh, dear me." Nathalie sank back down in the chair and examined her Uggs. "The sarcasm could've started dripping off her and stained the floor. "Is it conspiracy, treachery, murder, or open warfare? I'll have to choose my lipstick accordingly.

  Lilith Saintcrow

  Uggs, Warfare, Murder

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