Turkey Day Quotes

• Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

  Kevin James

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Good Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

  John F. Kennedy

  Inspirational, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  Kennedy, John F. (1964). “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy, 1963”, p.836, Best Books on

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• A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all the other virtues.

  Marcus Tullius Cicero

  Thank You, Thanksgiving, Thankful

  "Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations" by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt,Oratio Pro Cnæo Plancio, XXXIII, p. 336-37, 1922.

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• An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

  Irv Kupcinet

  Thanksgiving, Optimistic, Turkeys

  53 Copy quote

• A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

  Kin Hubbard

  Thanksgiving, Turkeys, Kitchen

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• Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.

  Joseph Auslander

  Thanksgiving, Heart, Men

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• Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

  David Letterman

  Thanksgiving, Mom, Drinking

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• The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Jobs, Funny Thanksgiving, Turkeys

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• Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Mother, Sarcasm

  FaceBook post by Rita Rudner from Nov 13, 2012

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• O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Thanksgiving, Running, Thinking

  Henry David Thoreau (2014). “Familiar Letters (Annotated Edition)”, p.228, Jazzybee Verlag

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• I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Thanksgiving, Turkeys, Los Angeles

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• Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

  Johnny Carson

  Thanksgiving, Holiday, Emotional

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• Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.

  Seneca the Younger

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Appreciation

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• What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

  Erma Bombeck

  Thanksgiving, Food, Mean

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.271, Open Road Media

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• I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

  Craig Ferguson

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Football

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  Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Positive, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  FaceBook post by Oprah Winfrey from Oct 03, 2011

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• I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Holiday

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• The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.

  William Blake

  Happiness, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  William Blake, David Fuller (2000). “William Blake: Selected Poetry and Prose”, p.133, Pearson Education

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• Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

  Mike Connolly

  Thanksgiving, Vegetarianism, Turkeys

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• Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.

  Conrad Gessner

  Thank You, Thanksgiving, Song

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• Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, What If

  "Comedian Jim Gaffigan Shares How To Survive Holiday Political Debates". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. November 23, 2016.

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• Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.

  Stephen Colbert

  Football, Country, Aunt

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• We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

  George Carlin

  Thanksgiving, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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• Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, Drunk

  "Beyond the Pale". Live album by Jim Gaffigan, www.npr.org. February 7, 2006.

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• Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.

  Marcus Tullius Cicero

  Inspirational, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  91 Copy quote