Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I would give all of my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
or simply:
