Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
When money's tight and is hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
When I get a very generous introduction like that I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the other hand I'm Irish and the Irish are very emotionally moved. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials.
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way?
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.
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