Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
There's something wonderful about drinking in the afternoon. A not-too-cold pint, absolutely alone at the bar - even in this fake-ass Irish pub.
In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the Cross can all fit together.
Only a pint at breakfast-time, and a pint and a half at eleven o'clock, and a quart or so at dinner. And then no more till the afternoon; and half a gallon at supper-time. No one can object to that.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair, and left my necktie God knows where. And carried half way home, or near, pints and quarts of Ludlow beer.
If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate... and marvels will be performed.
Six pints of bitter, said Ford Prefect. And quickly please, the world's about to end.
The world is not checking in with us to see what skills we've picked up, what idea we've concocted, what dreams we carry in our hearts. When a job opens, whether it's in the chorus line or on the assembly line, it goes to the person standing there. It goes to the eager beaver the boss sees when he looks up from his work: the pint-sized kid standing at the basketball court on the playground waiting for one of the older boys to head home. "Hey, kid, wanna play?"
The biggest waste of water in the country by far. You spend half a pint and flush two gallons.
I can say with unwavering certitude that I have never started a pint of Ben 'n Jerry's ice cream that I didn't finish in its entirety within 6 minutes.
The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue.
My ideal man is Benjamin Franklin-the figure in American history most worthy of emulation ... Franklin is my ideal of a whole man. ... Where are the life-size-or even pint-size-Benjamin Franklins of today?
or simply: