The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Instead of water we got here a draught of beer, a lumberer's drink, which would acclimate and naturalize a man at once,-which would make him see green, and, if he slept, dream that he heard the wind sough among the pines.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
Drinking is a way of ending the day.
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda water the day after.
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.
Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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