Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the 'gotta have it' scale.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.'
Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants.
Money talks, bullshit walks.
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
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