Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.
Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.
Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.
Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.
The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to.
Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.
The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.
Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.
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