Dog Quotes - Page 10

• "I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Eye, Thinking

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• I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog!

  Matthew Lillard

  Funny, Here I Am, Actors

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• I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry dog that's flying a space ship.

  Mark Hamill

  Funny, Space, Flying

  "Mark Hamill can't escape 'Star Wars' spotlight". The Associated Press Interview, www.today.com. May 10, 2005.

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• Bulldogs have been known to fall on their swords when confronted by my superior tenacity.

  Margaret Halsey

  Funny, Fall, Tenacity

  Margaret Halsey (1977). “No Laughing Matter: The Autobiography of a Wasp”, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

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• Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

  Craig Kilborn

  Funny, Successful, Men

  44 Copy quote

• Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them. Some love. If that dog weren't on a leash, he'd be off after another dog, a cat, or any stranger walking along the street with a wet bag of meat.

  Selma Diamond

  Funny, Cat, Weather

  13 Copy quote

• Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases.

  Charles Baudelaire

  Funny, People, Attention

  27 Copy quote

• Who is the man who can call from the back door at night: "Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme! Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme"?

  Westbrook Pegler

  Night, Men, Doors

  8 Copy quote

• I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

  Rita Rudner

  Witty, Religious, Thinking

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• A naked dog for a naked lady.

  Gypsy Rose Lee

  Naked

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• Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

  Josh Billings

  Funny, Children, Humorous

  7 Copy quote

• What kind of life a dog . . . acquires. I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete; one sees little but legs.

  E. V. Lucas

  Lying, Legs, Littles

  6 Copy quote

• It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio. When you entered there was a big sign and it said, "Welcome to Ferguson. Beware of the Dog." The all-night drugstore closed at noon.

  Jackie Vernon

  Funny, Night, Ohio

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• The Water Babies "Young and Old" When all the world is young, lad, And all the trees are green; And every goose a swan, lad, And every lass a queen; Then hey for boot and horse, lad, And round the world away: Young blood must have its course, lad, And every dog his day.

  Charles Kingsley

  Baby, Horse, Queens

  The Water Babies "Young and Old" l. 1 (1863)

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• A man bitten by a dog, whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.

  George D. Prentice

  Funny, Animal, Men

  22 Copy quote

• He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.

  Alfred Lord Tennyson

  Horse, Passion, Littles

  'Locksley Hall' (1842) l. 49

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• It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Running, Nerves

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• A dog, I will maintain, is a very tolerable judge of beauty, as appears from the fact that any liberally educated dog does, in a general way, prefer a woman to a man.

  Francis Thompson

  Men, Judging, Doe

  Francis Thompson (1913*). “Prose [works].”

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• Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.

  Francois Rabelais

  Funny, Running, Bites

  Francois Rabelais “Gargantua and Pantagruel: Five Books of the Lives, Heroic Deeds and Sayings of Gargantua and his Son Pantagruel”, Library of Alexandria

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• Modern houses are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways.

  Unknown

  Funny, House, Tails

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• Our dog chases people on a bike. We've had to take it off him.

  Winston Churchill

  People, Bike

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• Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Stoves, Howl

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• He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

  Honore de Balzac

  Funny, Reading, Doe

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• Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog And in that town a dog was found, As many dogs there be, Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound, And curs of low degree.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Mad, Degrees, Towns

  Oliver Goldsmith (1837). “The Works ...”, p.130

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• A reasonable amount of fleas is good for a dog; it keeps him from brooding over being a dog.

  Edward Noyes Westcott

  Humor, Fleas, Brooding

  8 Copy quote