Funny Anti Valentines Day Quotes

• You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self.

  Jo Coudert

  Inspirational, Being Single, Self

  Jo Coudert (2003). “Advice from a Failure”, p.131, iUniverse

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• I'm single because I was born that way.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Witty, Freedom

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

  28 Copy quote

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• I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

  Warsan Shire

  Lonely, Loneliness, Being Single

  114 Copy quote

• Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

  Lewis Black

  Funny Valentines Day, Holiday, Special

  11 Copy quote

• Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

  H. L. Mencken

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

  183 Copy quote

• You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him. You have your own happiness to think about.

  Melissa de la Cruz

  Happiness, Hurt, Thinking

  Melissa de la Cruz (2010). “The Van Alen Legacy: Number 4 in series”, p.148, Hachette UK

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• You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. Of all the people you will know in the lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

  Jo Coudert

  Self Esteem, Being Single, People

  19 Copy quote

• Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Valentine, Mean

  17 Copy quote

• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

  97 Copy quote

• Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.

  Michael Douglas

  Single, Nice, Happy Valentines Day

  38 Copy quote

• Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

  Sarah Jessica Parker

  Single, Sexy, Mean

  63 Copy quote

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

  98 Copy quote

• Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end.

  Ann Brashares

  Life, Funny Love, War

  FaceBook post by Ann Brashares from Apr 08, 2013

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• To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

  Bess Myerson

  Love, Broken Heart, Breakup

  29 Copy quote

• Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Love, Sarcastic, Depressing

  80 Copy quote

• I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive

  Adriana Lima

  Funny, Cute, Hater

  43 Copy quote

• Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed.

  Laurell K. Hamilton

  Love, Valentines Day, Sarcastic

  Laurell K. Hamilton (2011). “Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter collection 6-10”, p.1106, Penguin

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• You're not a coward just because you don't want to hurt people.

  Veronica Roth

  Hurt, People, Coward

  Veronica Roth (2014). “Divergent Series Ultimate Four-Book Collection: Divergent; Insurgent; Allegiant; Four”, p.60, Harper Collins

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• Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Loneliness, Being Single, Single Life

  Elizabeth Gilbert (2010). “The Complete Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love; Committed; The Last American Man; Stern Men & Pilgrims”, p.67, A&C Black

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• When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Lonely, Loneliness, Being Single

  Elizabeth Gilbert (2010). “The Complete Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love; Committed; The Last American Man; Stern Men & Pilgrims”, p.67, A&C Black

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• But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Loneliness, Being Single, Single Life

  Elizabeth Gilbert (2010). “The Complete Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love; Committed; The Last American Man; Stern Men & Pilgrims”, p.67, A&C Black

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• The course of true love never did run smooth.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Life, Summer

  'A Midsummer Night's Dream' (1595-6) act 1, sc. 1, l. 132

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• Avant-garde means never having to say you're sorry.

  Marc Ribot

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  25 Copy quote

• Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  Kurt Vonnegut (1997). “Hocus Pocus”, p.70, Penguin

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• For the taxable investor, indexing means never having to say you're sorry.

  William J. Bernstein

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  22 Copy quote