The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.
Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.
A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.
Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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