As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
A parent's love is whole, no matter how many times divided.
Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.
Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants.
Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.
A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it.
Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.
Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.
I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
The beauty of 'spacing' children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones.
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
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