Funny Thanksgiving Day Quotes - Page 2

• Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Life, Thanksgiving, Gratitude

  henry ward beecher (1858). “life thoughts,”, p.115

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• May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!

  Grandpa Jones

  Thanksgiving, Yams, Turkeys

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• Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —

  William Arthur Ward

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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  My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

  Phyllis Diller

  Thanksgiving, Fun, Kids

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• An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

  Irv Kupcinet

  Thanksgiving, Optimistic, Turkeys

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• Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

  David Letterman

  Thanksgiving, Mom, Drinking

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• God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?'

  William Arthur Ward

  Thank You, Thanksgiving, God

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• Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

  Johnny Carson

  Thanksgiving, Holiday, Emotional

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• There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.

  O. Henry

  Thanksgiving, One Day, Biscuits

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  To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do.

  Victor Hugo

  Thanksgiving, Prayer, Wings

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• It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.

  Cornelius Plantinga

  Thanksgiving, Christian, Being Thankful

  Cornelius Plantinga (2001). “Beyond Doubt: Faith-Building Devotions on Questions Christians Ask”, p.52, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing

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• Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Mother, Sarcasm

  FaceBook post by Rita Rudner from Nov 13, 2012

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• Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

  Kevin James

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Good Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.

  Conrad Gessner

  Thank You, Thanksgiving, Song

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• I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.

  Joseph B. Wirthlin

  Thanksgiving, Mean, Opportunity

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• Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.

  William Arthur Ward

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Thankfulness

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• I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.

  Ellen Orleans

  Thanksgiving, Strong, Holiday

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• Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

  Mike Connolly

  Thanksgiving, Vegetarianism, Turkeys

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• We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

  Albert C. Barnes

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Dark

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• The thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Heart

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• Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Thanksgiving, Years, Thankfulness

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• The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.

  William Blake

  Happiness, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  William Blake, David Fuller (2000). “William Blake: Selected Poetry and Prose”, p.133, Pearson Education

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• My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Mother

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• Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, What If

  "Comedian Jim Gaffigan Shares How To Survive Holiday Political Debates". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. November 23, 2016.

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• We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

  George Carlin

  Thanksgiving, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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