Guy Quotes - Page 17

• A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Tough

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• The only time I've ever been mistaken for someone else is - and this arguable still - when a person came up to me on the boardwalk of Ocean City, New Jersey and said, "You look a lot like that guy from computer ads" and I said, "There is a reason because I am that guy," and the guy looked at me for a minute, laughed and said, "That's a funny joke, but you really do look like him." He thought I was not me.

  John Hodgman

  Ocean, Cities, Jersey

  "Bewildered Maine resident John Hodgman takes another crack at our 11 Questions". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. September 3, 2015.

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• I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning.

  Marc Maron

  Funny, Sex, Cancer

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• I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up all night in my kitchen, practicing the dance, because I knew I had to dance with Timberlake and that guy can dance.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Boys, Night, Kitchen

  "Jimmy Fallon Interviews Jimmy Fallon". Interview with Eric Spitznagel and Peter Yang, www.menshealth.com. December 23, 2014.

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• Bill Gates, who is the classic computer nerd, as opposed to Steve who is, like the coolest guy in the world. And who is really doing things to make the world a better place?

  Alex Gibney

  Nerd, Bills, World

  Source: www.salon.com

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• I was always trying to pick guys up. I'd ask guys out and stuff like that. I had no pride. I was the biggest lurch at dances, waiting for the ladies' choice. I'd lunge at my prey like a baby wolf.

  Patti Smith

  Baby, Pride, Always Trying

  Source: www.oceanstar.com

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• This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay hundreds of millions of dollars under this plan. I think it was Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, the guys who do the quiz shows. But almost everybody else would be off really cheap.

  Dave Barry

  Cheating, Thinking, Years

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• As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.

  Tucker Max

  Girl, Rejection, Way

  Source: www.complex.com

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• I'm not going to waste my energy looking into the eyes of someone like the guy who blew my legs off trying to find a way to forgive him for doing something that horrible when there are way more productive ways I could be spending my life. You've got to focus on moving on.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Moving, Eye, Focus

  Source: blogcritics.org

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• It's always really cool when you get to play with someone who you like and they go out of their way to be nice to you; it's not just a 'oh I played with them but I didn't meet them' sort of situation, so shout out to those guys for being awesome.

  Hoodie Allen

  Nice, Play, Way

  Source: blog.ticketmaster.co.uk

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• Guys want to be respected and acknowledged. They want to feel what they contributed matters.

  Charlie Sheen

  Want, Matter, Feels

  Source: www.ericspitznagel.com

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• If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Drinking, Should, Ifs

  "Gabriel Iglesias – The Fluffy Movie". Interview with Kiko Martinez, www.cinesnob.net. July 25, 2014.

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• Women in stores will pull their children away from me sometimes so they won't catch the crazy Creed virus. Other folks are disappointed that I'm not that guy in person.

  Creed Bratton

  Children, Crazy, Viruses

  Source: rocksucker.co.uk

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• Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

  Tucker Max

  Pussy, Trying, Sides

  Source: www.complex.com

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• I'm a really lucky guy, I have a good wardrobe of suits and things, and I have a wife that gives me a direction if I'm doing something wrong. I live a great life and I do what I love, which is wonderful.

  Nacho Figueras

  Giving, Wife, Lucky

  Source: www.refinery29.com

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• [Stanley] Kubrick was a fascinating, larger than life guy who had been a friend for many years prior to our working together on that film. I found the best part of working with him to be the long conversations we had between set-ups.

  Sydney Pollack

  Years, Long, Working Together

  Source: www.washingtonpost.com

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• I'm more of a rodeo type guy.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Rodeo, Type

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• My dad was a non-denominational preacher, actually a Congregationalist which is really where all congregations come to congregate. That's why it's called a Congregationalist. Later on in life, he just became a non-denominational preacher, kind of a fire and brimstone type guy. That's how I grew up.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Dad, Fire, Kind

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• Some guy came up to me with his kids, ages probably 10 and 12, and said that the reason he likes me is because he sat through an hour and twenty-minute show, and I didn't cuss one time. So it just really depends.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kids, Age, Twenties

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• They sell pot named after me in the dispensaries. And I'm not even a pot guy. I was so honored.

  Charlie Sheen

  Pot, Honored, Sells

  Source: www.ericspitznagel.com

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• I refuse to grow up. I won't become the adult guy.

  Charlie Sheen

  Growing Up, Adults, Grows

  Source: www.ericspitznagel.com

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• Guys who do a lot of running and jumping around cannot get themselves set to throw a hard punch.

  Jack Johnson

  Running, Jumping, Hard

  Source: www.boxingforum24.com

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• There's this idea of shifting baselines. It was coined by a guy named Jeremy Jackson. It's the idea that every generation takes what it sees, and says, "Okay, well, that's the norm."

  Elizabeth Kolbert

  Ideas, Generations, Shifting

  "Pulitzer Winner Elizabeth Kolbert on Mass Extinctions - and Our Own Eventual One". Interview with Benjy Hansen-Bundy, www.motherjones.com. February 4, 2014.

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• Racing's very much like the world of acting. You have your front runners and you have guys that are there for the long race, and you have other guys that block for other people, that are called supporting and character actors. It's all the same kind of situation.

  Sylvester Stallone

  Block, Character, Race

  Source: cinema.com

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• Before my first novel, I was dating a woman who later went to prison for bashing a guy with a hammer.

  Gary Shteyngart

  Dating, Firsts, Hammers

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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