Idiot Quotes - Page 22

• If culture did not filter, it would be inane - as inane as the formless, boundless Internet is on its own. And if we all possessed the boundless knowledge of the Web, we would be idiots! Culture is an instrument for making a hierarchical system of intellectual labor.

  Umberto Eco

  Intellectual, Filters, Would Be

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• My friend is an idiot. He smokes three packs of cigarettes a day. He won't quit, either. His big excuse is, "Why should I quit smoking? Anything could kill me. I could be walking down the street one day and i could be hit by a bus." Maybe if you quit smoking you could cross the street a hell of a lot faster.

  Gregg Rogell

  Smoking, One Day, Three

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• I have worked with some horrible idiots in my life. You learn the pattern of how architects work and the thing is not to fight it. Just to be very quiet, let them get on with it and let them really mess it up.

  Barbara Hulanicki

  Fighting, Patterns, Quiet

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Congress, Repeats, I Can

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• This disease they call 'rap' - some kind of rhythmic pulse is going by, while some sociopathic idiot is belching out grade school poetry.

  Frank Sinatra, Jr.

  Rap, School, Pulse

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• We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.

  Stephen Colbert

  Desire, Looks

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• The biggest idiot you will meet in life will be the person that thinks they know it all.

  Christopher Jones

  Thinking, Know It All, Persons

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• An honest man is all right even if he's an idiot...but a crook must have brains.

  Maxim Gorky

  Men, Brain, Crooks

  Maxim Gorky (2016). “The Lower Depths”, p.78, Courier Dover Publications

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• There is no ´Complete Idiots Guide to Creationism,´ but perhaps one is not needed.

  Andrei Codrescu

  Guides, Needed, Creationism

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• The word 'idiot' comes from a Greek root meaning private person. Idiocy is the female defect: intent on their private lives, women follow their fate through a darkness deep as that cast by malformed cells in the brain. It is no worse than the male defect, which is lunacy: men are so obsessed by public affairs that they see the world as by moonlight, which shows the outlines of every object but not the details indicative of their nature.

  Rebecca West

  Fate, Men, Cells

  Rebecca West (2010). “Black Lamb and Grey Falcon: A Journey Through Yugoslavia”, p.7, Open Road Media

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• If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

  W. C. Fields

  Trying, Firsts, Doe

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• Idiots are not responsible for what they do. The real guilt falls on rational people who sit on their hands while morons run wild. You can opt out if you want to. Play it safe. But if you do, don't complain when the roof comes down.

  Jack McDevitt

  Running, Real, Fall

  "Odyssey" (Ch. 6, p. 48). Book by Jack McDevitt, 2006.

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• I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

  Henny Youngman

  Paid

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

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• A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.

  Demetri Martin

  Names, Guy, Would Be

  Twitter post from Aug 31, 2012

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• The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.

  Demetri Martin

  Distance, Two, Lines

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• You run into a party and [a] woman comes up to you. She's the most beautiful creature you ever saw - Ava Gardner - and says, "I like you and why don't we get together?" What are you going to say, "No"? You'd have to be an idiot. She was an incredible creature.

  Artie Shaw

  Beautiful, Running, I Like You

  " Artie Shaw, the Reluctant 'King of Swing'", NPR, March 8, 2002.

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• You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

  Dane Cook

  People, Directors, Stories

  FaceBook post by Dane Cook from Sep 03, 2014

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• It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots.

  Craig Ferguson

  People, World, May

  Craig Ferguson (2010). “Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel”, p.121, Chronicle Books

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• The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.

  Wanda Sykes

  Sex, Powerful, Lying

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• Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.

  Doug Stanhope

  Military, College, People

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• I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Lying, Night

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?

  Amy Schumer

  Real, Party, School

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• You ever say a phrase you say all the time at the wrong time, feel like a complete idiot? Something like, 'You, too. You, too.' I was getting out of the cab at the airport, and the driver goes, 'Hey, have a nice flight.' 'You, too. You, too. You have a nice flight, too - in case you ever fly some day.

  Brian Regan

  Nice, Airports, Phrases

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• What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?

  Dana Gould

  Fire, What If, Devil

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• We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody.

  Alonzo Bodden

  Fun, Shoes, Waiting

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