Jokes Quotes - Page 16

• In the whole of the New Testament there is not one joke, that fact alone would invalidate any book.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Book, Facts, New Testament

  10 Copy quote

• The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored.

  Dick Cavett

  Strong, Night, Dating

  4 Copy quote

• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh, you know something? I'm so far away from believing that it exists, and the only thing I know are jokes about it.

  Donald Sutherland

  Believe, Heaven, Far Away

  9 Copy quote

• I love belts. My husband always jokes with me, because he always calls me out on my belts, he's always like, "Just belt it, like you always say."

  Olivia Palermo

  Husband, Love Is, Like You

  Source: www.elle.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I was a bit scared because I came from the acting world. There was a fear that people would think of me kind of as a joke. But really, people think of me as a country artist who can act. That's my favorite compliment.

  Jana Kramer

  Country, Artist, Thinking

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I do have pleasure when I'm writing. I mean, I'm aware of pleasure. And sometimes I make myself laugh, with a joke or something; or I feel gleeful.

  Peter Schjeldahl

  Writing, Mean, Laughing

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I certainly had qualms about writing my piece in the first place, since I knew I couldn't express my disdain for many of Rev. Falwell's teachings. But I don't regret having written about the sides of Rev. Falwell that had nothing to do with politics or religion - his grandkids, his ministry for ex-alcoholics, his penchant for practical jokes. I think it's important to recognize the humanity in everyone, even those we strongly disagree with.

  Kevin Roose

  Regret, Teaching, Writing

  5 Copy quote

• A lot of people live with no apparent means of support. I kind of envy the musicians up there. You're down here, busting your ass in Hollywood, and it's like Lily Tomlin's joke about the rat race - all you prove in the end is that you're a rat.

  Kurt Voss

  Mean, Race, People

  Source: www.aboutfilm.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I did it a little bit in college, but now I've been doing it more. But yeah, it's not, I think you can definitely have a sense of humour about it. Like a lot of the time I'll finish my set with 'Sandstorm' by Darude - do you know that song? That's a funny song. People also go apeshit when you play it. But at the same time, it's not like the whole thing is a joke.

  Chris Baio

  Song, College, Thinking

  6 Copy quote

• The stuff about film being a collaborative medium is no joke.

  Alex Gibney

  Stuff, Film, Mediums

  Source: collider.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.

  Johnny Depp

  Couple, Brando, Practicals

  "Johnny Depp on His Varied Career, Jack Sparrow, and “Torturing” Leonardo DiCaprio". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. February 6, 2016.

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.

  Johnny Depp

  Able, I Can

  "Johnny Depp on His Varied Career, Jack Sparrow, and “Torturing” Leonardo DiCaprio". collider.com. February 6, 2016.

  13 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm excited for the new crop of gay comics who have never been closeted, who never thought that they needed to put on a dress to tell a joke, and it's exciting.

  Guy Branum

  Gay, Dresses, Excited

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.

  Dave Barry

  Writing, Thinking, Care

  "Dave Barry's Mix of Over the Top Humor, Seriousness Reflects 'Insanity' of Miami". "PBS NewsHour" with Jeffrey Brown, www.pbs.org. February 7, 2013.

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• There were some particular themes that I knew I wanted to hit, and when I got deeper into the project I found that it was becoming serious in and on its own. By the end, it's not very funny at all. I think, now, that part of the power of the book is that the jokes are kind of sparkly distractions.

  Moshe Kasher

  Book, Thinking, Becoming

  Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. June 6, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Sometimes my humor does offend people, and I've said it before: I don't write jokes to be offensive. I write jokes to be funny, and I guess what I find funny are things that other people sometimes find offensive. I would love nothing more than to never offend anyone, but it just doesn't seem to work out that way.

  Moshe Kasher

  Writing, Work Out, People

  Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. June 6, 2012.

  10 Copy quote

  Show source

• A friend of mine is trying to do a documentary where he brings Jewish and Arab comedians to occupied territories in Israel. He wants to do shows as a way of finding some comedic common denominator. When he proposed the idea to one of the officials at the Jenin refuge camp, the guy just stared at him and said, "This is not a joke to us. We don't think that laughing is the answer."

  Harold Ramis

  Thinking, Israel, Ideas

  Source: www.ericspitznagel.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.

  David Rees

  Art, Ideas, Funny Jokes

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.

  Bruce Vilanch

  Different, Way, Firsts

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I think probably the best example was the year Jack Palance dropped down and gave us push-ups when he accepted his award for supporting actor. Then we got to throw away a lot of the script because we just did Jack Palance jokes, because it was just too delicious, watching this old man carry on like that.

  Bruce Vilanch

  Men, Thinking, Awards

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Almost no one as I think most leadership books are a joke. They are, as I note in Leadership BS, frequently based on wishes and hopes rather than reality, on inspiring stories rather than systematic social science, and on "oughts" rather than "is."

  Jeffrey Pfeffer

  Book, Reality, Thinking

  Source: bobmorris.biz

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Authenticity seems like sort of a joke. Actually I believe it was the late comedian George Burns who said, "if you can fake sincerity, you've got it made." People cannot be invariant across situations and roles and, moreover, leaders need to be true not to themselves, but to what others want, need, and expect from them.

  Jeffrey Pfeffer

  Believe, People, Leader

  Source: bobmorris.biz

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.

  Ben Domenech

  Years, Suggestions, Comedy

  Source: www.cbsnews.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.

  Reese Roper

  Recycling

  Source: mousertime.blogspot.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I tell you a joke to have you listen to me, and then maybe I will tell you another joke that we can laugh together and feel equal. And then I will tell you a story hopefully that will make you cry. So I think that's the way that I approach the columns, as a surviving tool in a way.

  Sayed Kashua

  Thinking, Laughing, Together

  "'It's A Surviving Tool': 'Native' Tells Satirical Stories Of Life In Israel". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. February 12, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source