Jokes Quotes - Page 18

• I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

  John Oliver

  Deep Love, Tone, Irreverent

  Source: www.wbur.org

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• I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

  Margaret Cho

  Laughing, Faces

  "Don't Call Them Comediennes". Elle interview, www.elle.com. June 21, 2016.

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• I literally cannot remember one joke.

  Judd Apatow

  Remember

  "This is Judd Apatow". "60 Minutes" with Anderson Cooper, www.cbsnews.com. December 30, 2012.

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• This is not really currency that circulates. It's like the old joke about expensive vintage wine. Wine prices will go up and once in a while somebody will buy a 50-year-old bottle of wine and say, "Wait a minute. This has gone bad." The answer is, "Well, that wine isn't for drinking; that's for trading." These $100 bills aren't meant to circulate. They're not to spend on goods and services. They're a store of value. They're a form of saving.

  Michael Hudson

  Drinking, Wine, Years

  Source: www.counterpunch.org

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• I don't read all the junk. I joke if I did, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. But, Sometimes the comments over the top - really ugly. Many of them are critical of my looks, like the one that criticized my "thunder thighs." I get that a lot. Some of the tweets are too vulgar to repeat.

  Gretchen Carlson

  Morning, Bed, Junk

  Source: frankviola.org

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• Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.

  Sarah Silverman

  Insecure, Childhood, Weight

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• I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Done, Kind

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think "how can you make a joke about this?"

  Daniel Tosh

  Thinking, Trying, Bars

  "Mr. Daniel Tosh coming to NAU". The Lumberjack Interview, www.jackcentral.org. September 11, 2008.

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• When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.

  Duffy

  Couple, Space, People

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• For Joey Bishop, always was kind of the lost soul, so I did a traffic joke.

  Garry Marshall

  Soul, Bishops, Kind

  "Fresh Air Remembers Garry Marshall, Creator Of 'Happy Days' And 'Laverne & Shirley'". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. July 20, 2016.

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• Matter of fact, the way we got a path, a great friend, Arlen Specter, I convinced him to switch parties. Not a joke. Not a joke. He was the deciding vote.

  Joe Biden

  Party, Matter, Way

  "Full video and transcript: Rachel Maddow interviews Vice President Joe Biden". Interview with Rachel Maddow, www.msnbc.com. February 18, 2016.

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• I joke that if she [Debbie Wasserman Schultz] could find a 3 a.m. slot in the Home Shopping Network, she would grab that. So those emails only confirm what we knew.

  Jonathan Tasini

  Home, Shopping, Email

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Wonder Showzen was one of the first shows that realized each sketch, each segment is essentially one joke, and, once you know what the joke is, it's time to move on.

  Eric Andre

  Moving, Time To Move On, Firsts

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes per square inch as possible.

  Eric Andre

  Moving, Squares, Next

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Like Toy Story, the joke is all about exploring the secret world of these various everyday objects.

  Seth Rogen

  Everyday Objects, Secret, Stories

  Source: munchies.vice.com

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• My grandfather used to say 'Eat the biggest crabs first, that way you're always eating the biggest crabs.' In making a TV show, that means if you have a big funny or smart idea for an episode or a scene or a joke, go for it. Don't save it for another season or another episode, because you may not have the right time again. It's good advice for television, but truly stellar advice for eating crabs.

  Jonathan Groff

  Smart, Mean, Tv Shows

  Source: variety.com

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• My daddy. He's so funny! My whole family jokes around a lot.

  Coco Jones

  Daddy, Whole Family, Whole

  Source: www.pittsburghurbanmedia.com

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• I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich?" See? That was funny.

  Kanye West

  Real, Dark, Thinking

  Source: www.harpersbazaar.com

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• I loved the idea that I could write a joke and someone else would have to take the risk of performing it.

  Judd Apatow

  Writing, Ideas, Risk

  Interview with Nathan Rabin, www.avclub.com. March 1, 2011.

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• It was always the most fun thing in the world to think of a joke area and talk about it with someone like Jim Carrey, and then he would get on stage fearlessly and tear the house down. That's something I always enjoyed. It also allowed me to not be terrified.

  Judd Apatow

  Fun, Thinking, House

  Interview with Nathan Rabin, www.avclub.com. March 1, 2011.

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• I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed - and, again, whether you think it's funny or not, that's subjective.

  David Cross

  Thinking, Hopefully, Stills

  "David Cross on why his comedy tour pissed off people right and left". Interview with Sean O'Neal, www.avclub.com. August 18, 2016.

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• George Lowe was the one who opened the mail, and George started laughing uproariously and I looked up at him in astonishment and said, "What's so funny?" And he said, "You've been given a title", and I said, "Ha, ha, big joke." I didn't believe him but, sure enough, in this letter it indicated that the Queen had given me a title.

  Edmund Hillary

  Queens, Believe, Laughing

  "Sir Edmund Hillary's last ever interview". Interview with Maggie Barry, www.noted.co.nz. January 26, 2008.

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• I used to joke about this but I've recently realized that I really believe it: I spent many years training myself to write very slowly for pretty good money. So the idea of writing really quickly for free offends me.

  George Saunders

  Believe, Writing, Years

  "George Saunders on Trump, Mystery, and Why He Rejects Social Media". Interview with Catherine Woodiwiss, sojo.net. August 30, 2016.

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• I think if the joke is in good taste - it's a good joke.

  Eric Andre

  Thinking, Taste, Ifs

  Source: www.towleroad.com

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• The movie studios, they only like to make - I make a joke, but it's true - if the movie has the word "man" and a number in the title, they'll make it. If it doesn't have that, it's an R-rated raunchy comedy, and that's it. Any other movie that you're going to make is going to be an independent one. So for filmmakers who want to do something other than "man" and a number, it's either independent films or television, which is like the place for real creative filmmakers to go.

  Rob Reiner

  Real, Independent, Men

  Source: www.avclub.com

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