Jokes Quotes - Page 12

• Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

  Dov Davidoff

  Hurt, Writing, People

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• It will startle you to see what slaves we are to by-gone times-to Death, if we give the matter the right word! ... We read in Dead Men's books! We laugh at Dead Men's jokes, and cry at Dead Men's pathos! . . . Whatever we seek to do, of our own free motion, a Dead Man's icy hand obstructs us!

  Nathaniel Hawthorne

  Book, Men, Hands

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• The two-party system is a bad joke on the American people; when it comes to Republicans and Democrats remember they are two sides of the same coin. Voting for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil and not an answer to our problems. A vote for a Republican or a Democrat will not fix anything and is a wasted vote.

  Aaron Russo

  Party, Two Sides, People

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• A joke is necessary at this time.

  Grace Paley

  Grace Paley, Robert Nichols (2007). “Here and Somewhere Else”, Feminist Press

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• What is the universe? Is it a great 3D movie in which we are the unwilling actors? Is it a cosmic joke, a giant computer, a work of art by a Supreme Being or simply an experiment? The problem in trying to understand the universe is that we have nothing to compare it to.

  Heinz Pagels

  Art, Trying, Giants

  Heinz R. Pagels (2012). “The Cosmic Code: Quantum Physics as the Language of Nature”, p.343, Courier Corporation

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• A joke isn't a joke until someone laughs.

  Michael Crawford

  Laughing

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• A lot of people who look at my photographs think it is an easy joke, but it does take a bit of thinking about.

  Alison Jackson

  Thinking, People, Doe

  "Alison Jackson's best shot" by Leo Benedictus, www.theguardian.com. November 7, 2007.

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• When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.

  Duffy

  Couple, Space, People

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• The Lord's angel, Gebrail, dictated the Koran to Mohammed the Lord's Prophet. What a joke if all that holy book were only twenty-three years of listening to the desert. A desert which has no voice.

  Thomas Pynchon

  Book, Angel, Years

  Thomas Pynchon (2012). “V.”, p.52, Penguin

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• The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.

  Allen Toussaint

  Mother, Law, Comedian

  "'Fresh Air' Remembers Hit Songwriter, Pianist And Producer Allen Toussaint". "Fresh Air" with Dave Davies, www.npr.org. November 13, 2015.

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• You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy.

  Lewis Carroll

  Unhappy, Ifs

  Lewis Carroll (2014). “Through the Looking-Glass JESUK147”, p.17, Classic Comic Store Ltd.

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• What makes our marriage holy, what makes it "set apart" and sacramental, isn't the marriage certificate filed away in the basement or the degree to which we follow a list of rules and roles, it's the way God shows up in those everyday moments - loading the dishwasher, sharing a joke, hosting a meal, enduring an illness, working through a disagreement - and gives us the chance to notice, to pay attention to the divine. It's the way the God of resurrection makes all things new.

  Rachel Held Evans

  Giving, Everyday, Roles

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• I'm an actor. I've always been an actor. I've always approached all my comedy as an actor. I don't really care about jokes either. I tire of jokes.

  Brett Gelman

  Actors, Care, Comedy

  Source: collider.com

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• People joke about me that I talk in voiceovers. I have that sort of inflection. But I do talk in voiceovers. I have done it my whole life.

  Matt Nix

  People, Done, Whole Life

  Source: deadline.com

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• I have this natural thing in my head that when I sit down to write something serious, I tend to make jokes. I can't help it. I can't help but desire for the narrative to be as complicated and as truthful as possible. That's just the way my head works.

  Justin Simien

  Writing, Desire, Narrative

  Source: www.moviesonline.ca

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• So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.

  Jon Stewart

  Sound, Negative, Ifs

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• There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.

  A. P. Herbert

  Play, Symphony, Littles

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• I feel like you can share as many jokes as you want to because no joke you do on Twitter is ever gonna be so big on Twitter, for the most part, that you can't say it on stage that same night.

  W. Kamau Bell

  Night, Want, Like You

  Source: collider.com

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• I walk with God, and He protects me. That may very well be true. I don't mean to make that sound like a joke, in case He is in charge.

  Dan Harmon

  Mean, Sound, May

  "Dan Harmon Talks RICK AND MORTY, Working for Adult Swim, Animation vs Live-Action, COMMUNITY, and Much More". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. July 27, 2013.

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• We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.

  Brett Gelman

  Laughing, Hard Life, Hitting

  Source: collider.com

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• When you watch an audience watching my movies, you realize that nobody laughs at the same time. Some people enjoy a beat, and then another group of people are laughing at a sight gag, and then someone laughs where nobody laughs before. They're not timed like a comedy. You're not supposed to laugh at every joke. You decide.

  Quentin Dupieux

  Sight, Laughing, People

  Source: collider.com

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• You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

  Lenny Bruce

  Laughter, Pay, Sense Of Humor

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

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• Maybe it's because I have too much pride or self-respect, but I thought, `Why does a guy who has thinning hair and who is overweight have to be a loser or a joke?'

  Paul Giamatti

  Pride, Hair, Self

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• I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes.

  John Roberts

  Thinking, Lawyer, Audience

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• I think the nerves aspect is a bit of a joke. How hard can it be to walk up and down in a straight line? You just need to put one step in front of another, most people do it all the time. What's the worst that can happen? You fall over. Sometimes that happens to non-models too, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

  Edie Campbell

  Fall, Thinking, People

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