Jokes Quotes - Page 7

• The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.

  Craig Ferguson

  Differences, Dumb, Stories

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• Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Way, Retarded

  Twitter post from Oct 04, 2010

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• You can't expect everyone to laugh or applaud you for doing edgy things. Sometimes you'll miss. But I think comedians are artists and there's a value in failure. It kind of works both ways between comedians and audiences. The audience has to understand that comedians are going to sometimes tell a joke that doesn't work out with dark subjects, and the comedian has to understand that sometimes they 'll fail and it's not the audience's fault for not getting it or loving it.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Dark, Artist, Thinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  People, Doe, Littles

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Writing, Long, Worry

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I could never sit down and write jokes.

  Louis C. K.

  Writing, Down And

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• Woody Allen once said: "You know there must be intelligent life in space. The question is do they have good Chinese restaurants and do they deliver?" Which is really a joke, but it is also a very profound remark. When you say do they have good Chinese restaurants, what you're really saying is, "How much are they like us?" And when you say, "Do they deliver?" you're saying, "Can they get here?" Both of which are profound questions. And at the present, we have no answers.

  Gene Wolfe

  Intelligent, Space, Profound

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• Visual supervision is a joke for development workers. Visual supervision is for prisoners.

  Tom DeMarco

  Development, Prisoner, Supervision

  Tom DeMarco, Tim Lister (2013). “Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams”, p.164, Addison-Wesley

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• What is the universe? Is it a great 3D movie in which we are the unwilling actors? Is it a cosmic joke, a giant computer, a work of art by a Supreme Being or simply an experiment? The problem in trying to understand the universe is that we have nothing to compare it to.

  Heinz Pagels

  Art, Trying, Giants

  Heinz R. Pagels (2012). “The Cosmic Code: Quantum Physics as the Language of Nature”, p.343, Courier Corporation

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• When people become too intense, too serious, they will have trouble in relating to any sort of social game or norm. Perhaps this is why jokes are so important. On one hand they tell us about where the problems and grievances are, and, at the same time, they provide the means of enduring these grievances by laughing at the problems.

  Marshall McLuhan

  Mean, Hands, Games

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• I've got to have something. I want to stop it all, the whole monumental grotesque joke, before it's too late. But writing poems and letters doesn't seem to do much good.

  Sylvia Plath

  Writing, Too Late, Letters

  Sylvia Plath (2007). “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath”, p.19, Anchor

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• In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?'

  Carrot Top

  Laughing, Asking, Done

  "Carrot Top" by Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. September 02, 1997.

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• It will startle you to see what slaves we are to by-gone times-to Death, if we give the matter the right word! ... We read in Dead Men's books! We laugh at Dead Men's jokes, and cry at Dead Men's pathos! . . . Whatever we seek to do, of our own free motion, a Dead Man's icy hand obstructs us!

  Nathaniel Hawthorne

  Book, Men, Hands

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• That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Book, Mosaics, Grownups

  Kurt Vonnegut (1988). “Conversations with Kurt Vonnegut”, p.192, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• I have this natural thing in my head that when I sit down to write something serious, I tend to make jokes. I can't help it. I can't help but desire for the narrative to be as complicated and as truthful as possible. That's just the way my head works.

  Justin Simien

  Writing, Desire, Narrative

  Source: www.moviesonline.ca

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• I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde and then Fox.

  Gretchen Carlson

  America, Missing, Blonde

  "'Getting Real' with Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson". Interview with John W. Kennedy, www.beliefnet.com.

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• I rely on some words that actually my husband said to me. He jokes about saying, "You know it's only darkest before it's totally black!" Even in my darkest hour - and my darkest hour was probably when I lost both my parents - I look to him and I see what he has endured, what he has overcome, what he is doing with his life, and just how he's lived his life.

  Cindy McCain

  Husband, Parent, Black

  Source: www.goodhousekeeping.com

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• Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.

  George Orwell

  Fate, Series

  George Orwell (2012). “Down and Out in Paris and London”, p.30, Lulu.com

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• We spoke to God about the children, and we were afraid to ask God for specific things. We thought that it might be too much. So we said to God 'Please give us a healthy child' and left it at that, not knowing that God is a generous God, but also has a sense of humor. And if you leave that much open for God, some wonderful jokes are going to come about.

  Bill Cosby

  Children, Knowing, Giving

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• So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.

  Jon Stewart

  Sound, Negative, Ifs

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• I have been trying for a long time to understand God. Now I have made friends with him. To love him truly you must love change, and you must love a joke, these being the true inclinations of his own heart.

  Isak Dinesen

  Heart, Long, Trying

  Isak Dinesen (2011). “Seven Gothic Tales”, p.355, Vintage

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• I walk with God, and He protects me. That may very well be true. I don't mean to make that sound like a joke, in case He is in charge.

  Dan Harmon

  Mean, Sound, May

  "Dan Harmon Talks RICK AND MORTY, Working for Adult Swim, Animation vs Live-Action, COMMUNITY, and Much More". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. July 27, 2013.

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• Even the people who do great jokes, [it's] always coming out of a very real place.

  Brett Gelman

  Real, People, Coming Out

  Source: collider.com

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• That's what happens with most comedies. If you watch 10 minutes and there's no joke, then you're disappointed because you're expecting jokes. The same goes for emotional movies. You have to feel something. If you don't feel anything for 10 minutes, you get bored.

  Quentin Dupieux

  Emotional, Bored, Watches

  Source: collider.com

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• I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.

  Amy Sedaris

  Writing, Mean, Dressing Up

  Interview with Will Harris, www.bullz-eye.com. January 7, 2009.

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